Hey family,

Hope you all are well! I was thinking about forgiveness and decided to do a quick post.

My pastor, Bishop Larry Elliott often says “unforgiveness” is the number one sin among Christian people. That’s a little surprising, since our salvation was based in God loving us enough to forgive us–but Bishop raises a good point.

When someone wrongs us, as they often do, there’s no doubt that it hurts us–sometimes to the core, especially if it’s family, spouse, kids or close friend. And in many cases, we are JUSTIFIED to be upset with the offending parties. The thing is, though, we ARE NOT JUSTIFIED to have an unforgiving heart, mind and attitude toward them. “But, Blen, he left me high and dry with the baby and no money”, “she stole my man”, “they tricked me”, “teased me”, “broke my heart”, “violated my trust”, “said I wouldn’t be anything”, abused me”….I know, y’all, I get it and understand–they were wrong and you should be hot. Let’s take a look at this from God’s perspective.

Matthew 18:23-35 tells of the servant who owed BIG money to the king, didn’t have it, asked for mercy and his debt was forgiven. That same servant went to his friend and demanded the LITTLE money he was owed and cast the friend into prison. When the king heard, he cast the servant into prison, reminding him he should have given the same forgiveness he received. The Lord goes on to say that if we don’t forgive, we cannot be forgiven.

So by holding folks in the prison of our minds, we are really letting God know that we know better than Him and in essence really trying to supersede His wisdom. On top of that, WE don’t get forgiven. That can make us miss heaven! I know as much as can I mess up and am still growing in grace, I need forgiveness on a regular basis, don’t you? Is being upset with Lu-Lu about mistreating you in high school worth delaying your blessings, negating answers on your prayers, and risking your soul to eternal damnation? I’m checking the “no” box on that.

When someone does hurt you, know that the Lord sees and knows it, and will balance the scales in His time. In the meantime, take the situation to the Lord in prayer, and ask Him to help you forgive the offending parties from your heart, remove any bitter root, and heal you from the hurt and pain that was inflicted on you. This goes for the people that dogged you out years ago, to the cashier that rolled her eyes at you today– whether they asked for forgiveness, apologized or not.

You’ll know you have forgiven the person from the heart when the matter crosses your mind, is brought up, or you see the person and you do not get angry or keep negatively referring to the situation like it happened 2 minutes ago. God’s peace will totally take over and you will feel wonderful and marvel in the spiritual growth as you obey God’s Word.

True forgiveness takes God’s grace and a willing heart that wants to please God, rather than satisfy the flesh. Easy to do? No. But it is necessary to receive the benefits of God’s love and forgiveness.

Bottom line: You can’t change the past, but you can stop living in it.

God’s blessings to you!



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Just an average girl. Saved by and serving an AWESOME God who assigned me to help encourage His people to #StayOnTheWall.

10 thoughts on “Forgive-them-not?!!

  1. Hi Blenda,

    So true. The best way to forgive someone is to pray for them and shower them with love. You will find without you being aware, that whatever ill feeling you had towards that person is replaced with love. Life is just too precious and short to have a person or situation control you. Life is beautiful and God wants us to enjoy every minute of it. Be blessed.


    1. Hey Michelle,

      So good to hear from you and hear your comments. What you say so is true…when you don’t forgive, you are letting the situation/person control you. And most of the time, they aren’t even thinking about you! LOL!!

      I caught an Oprah episode where she talked about forgiveness. Oprah was upset with someone over a matter for years (she couldn’t remember what it was) and saw the person laughing on Michigan
      Ave in Chicago and going into Tiffany’s!! LOL!!! She realized the person had moved on and she (Oprah) needed to as well. If the world knows better, those that have the Holy Ghost should do
      better. We have enough to deal with in life— without purposely adding misery to it. Time to move on in Jesus!!

      Great comments, Michelle!!

      God bless you, Sis!


  2. This subject is a hard one. I love the fact that you always stick to the Word of God!!! Please pray for me that I will do it God’s way! And forgive! Thanks for this post!!!


    1. Hey T,

      Its always warms my heart to hear from you! Thanks for posting.

      This is a difficult subject…I had to ask God to search my heart, because sometimes stuff is there and you don’t realize it until God brings it to our attention. Or it’s hard to let go because the root is like a security blanket the enemy continues to hand us. The Lord wants us to let it go, but we need the desire to want to. I know from experience that you feel 100 pounds lighter when you let God handle it! There’s also something about being obedient to God that blesses you, too!

      I will surely keep you in prayers, my friend, and please do the same for me. I’m so glad the post blessed you!!

      God bless you always!!


  3. Hi Blenda,
    This subject I close to my heart, for years I lived with uuforgiveness which really isn’t a word, but it describes how I was living. A person very close to me hurt my children, and I said with my mouth that I forgave them, but in my heart I didn’t. Every time I was upset or angry with this person I would throw what they had done in their face without fail. And here I am saved, Holy Ghost filled, speaking in tongues: and one day I heard a message on offenses and I was so convicted that I had to repent, and asked the person that I claimed to forgive to forgive me. What that taught me was forgiving wasn’t for the person that wronged me, but it was for me to move on and start living again. Walking around with a unforgiven heart was killing me literally, but more important it was killing me spiritually. When I forgave with my whole heart, it was like breathing after you’ve held your breath for what seemed like an eternity. It was the best thing I did for me, to release them FREED me


    1. Ladies and gents, Adrienne is in the house!!!

      I think we have all played that starring role, Sis—especially when it comes to someone close to us or messing with our kids!
      I like what you said about an unforgiving heart killing you physically and spiritually–powerful statement. It takes so much energy to be angry all the time that you devote little time to anything else, so our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual (relationship with God) suffers–sometimes to the point of no return.

      Who wins when you’re sick, dying and angry? The offender will go on living till he’s 100 probably :), and our soul ends up in Hell because we just had to hold on to that offense.

      Forgiveness is to help us move on— you’re right on with that statement! Thank God He forgave me from His heart or He’d STILL be telling me about my past all day, everyday! 😉

      Your reply was a blessing, Adrienne…. Thank you and may God bless you richly!


  4. Hello ladies,

    Pray all is well with everyone. Once again sis, you seem to be right on time with the word. Now after reading and digesting the post and responses, I think I need to start re-evaluting myself and a few “forgiving” situations. Reading this made me sit back in my chair and realize that I am a “choosey forgiver” (if that makes any sense). You know, one who can forgive certain people of certain things at a certain time.. (SMH). Sadly, as much as I didn’t think they took up space in my head and heart they did, because I didn’t forgive them with love. I will be working on that.

    Thank you for the reminder..



  5. Hey Tamisha,

    I could feel your love for Christ in your post. It’s amazing how God will speak to our hearts and because we want to please Him, we begin taking steps to alter our behavior to be more like Him.

    As I said in another response, this is a sticky subject, cause folk will try you– and we feel it’s better to deal with them out of a dirty, long-handled spoon, because they deserve it. They probably do, but what if God had that mind? I’d be MESSED up!

    Glory to God for blessing us with a “call to action” post. I’ll be praying that the Lord will bless us to walk in the spirit (with Him) and not in the flesh ( like the enemy).

    Thanks SO much for your WONDERFUL comments, Tamisha!

    God bless you!


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