Declaring independence from “foolishmess”

Hey family!

It’s been another minute, I’ve been a little busy running, but it’s all good. It’s wonderful to be busy!! Ladies, I wanted to share a recent experience or maybe test that echoes the importance of prayer, and exercising wisdom so your are free from “foolishmess”.

I was at a conference at a hotel where a handsome guy from across the aisle and I made eye contact and smiled. Very nice. After the conference let out, as I went to run an errand, we ran into each other. He very politely asked what I was doing later, where I was going to eat and could he “holla at me” (hmm) after my errand. As I was going, the Lord gave me the foresight to pray before I talked to this guy. I told the Lord is this was going to be frippery, he needed to just go away.

As I made my way back from my errand, I heard “yo, yo, YO!” I turned around and it was Dude. Now remember, I’m quite grown; I haven’t seriously been called “yo” probably since I was in high school and didn’t like it then. After this, Dude asked me to call him. Not on his cell, but the room he was staying in!!! On top of that it was in hushed tones! Yall can draw your own conclusions on what Dude was thinking. What kind of monkeyshine is that? Men are still “ackin’” like this who are over age 35? Seriously?!

While I was disgusted by Dud, I mean Dude trying to run a game on me, I thank God for helping me to think and recognize the trick of the enemy. He likes to send a decoy you when you’ve been waiting and trusting God for your blessing. Let’s review the highlight–well lowlight reel in this guy’s game.

http://www.rocas.com.mt/cRubies.html1) Any man who really wants to approach a lady will NOT address her by “yo”. And a real lady won’t answer to that, either. That 106 and Park talk is not àpropos for a virtuous woman whose price is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10).

2) When a man wants to get to know you, he will ask you for YOUR number and pursue you, rather than him telling you to pursue him. That’s against the natural order of things! By nature men are hunters and like a challenge. They don’t value anything handed to them! Genesis 29:20 says Jacob worked seven years for Rachel, but it seemed like a few days because of the love he had for her. That’s what I’m talking about!!!!

3) I know this is obvious, but is worth a revisit. No man should act like he’s worried about seeing you in public. I have heard, “oh he’s shy” and “sometimes you have to help them along”. I don’t discount shyness or advocate women giving men a hard time “just cuz”. There is NO excuse for Dude to be looking over his shoulder and whispering while talking to you. That’s code for married, engaged, attached, or scouting out his next prey.

Single ladies, I so know the exasperation of waiting to get a Boaz only to get a Bozo! Pray about your encounters with guys, so you’ll react with wisdom rather than emotion. James 1:5 says God gives wisdom liberally for the asking. Why make foolish, emotional decisions unnecessarily? Better to not get into a situation than get caught out and live with the consequences.

With God’s help, do NOT be the low-lying fruit that a man can come by and pluck off the vine. The sweetest fruit is at the top of the tree and requires some work by the person who wants it—it’s okay to let him work for it. Know your worth and trust that good and perfect gifts come from God (James 1:17). If the gift doesn’t fall in that category, it’s NOT from God—-reject it, keep waiting and renewing your strength like Isaiah 40:31 reminds us! Your blessing is enroute!

God bless you!

Blen

Pic courtesy of http://www.rocas.com.mt/cRubies.html

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Child, have ya’ heard?~ A lesson on gossip

Hey Family!

Have ya' heard the latest?
There’s a gospel song called “Birds in the Church”. Actually, its a narrative by Rev. Benjamin Cone, Jr. (from Mississippi Mass Choir, I believe) who among other things, tells us how people can be a lot like parrots–freely repeating other people’s business. I  get tickled when I hear it, but there is truth there.

Before I was saved, I could be a little “Willona-ish” (from Good Times) when it came to discussing the happenings of people’s lives. The intent wasn’t malicious, just something to talk about, dissect, and share my “expert opinion” on the matter at hand.

This behavior continued after I got saved….more of a bad habit, I suppose. Then one time I shared something rather personal/serious in confidence with “Thelma” who went back told their family. Mayhap that wouldn’t have been so bad, if Family was offering sound wisdom, but Thelma came back to tell me Family laughed about it. May sound petty to you all, but I was SO hurt that someone would repeat and reduce my concerns to others so casually.

Say what?
Another time, I was involved in a sensitive situation where “JJ” had to get involved. JJ promptly started spreading the news and it got back to me. I politely confronted JJ, letting them know it really wasn’t right getting others involved in a matter intended to stay between selected persons. JJ was VERY apologetic–and it wasn’t done to be mean; just habitual, but hurtful behavior.  With God’s grace, I forgave Thelma and JJ and we’re cool.  I have to say I felt really hurt, embarrassed and betrayed. Through that pain, God showed me how awful it is to idly parrot and betray confidences AND that my idle chatter were NOT Christ-like at ALL! Thankfully,with His help that behavior soon ceased in Jesus name!

In the days since those times, God guides me on who I should talk to about certain things. Luke 2:16-19 tells us the people wondered about what the shepherds told Mary, but she “kept all these things and pondered things in her heart”. There is a valid reason she didn’t share that information with everybody! God also blessed me to be a confidant. People come to me with sensitive information and private challenges, knowing that with the grace of God, I will offer wise council, pray and keep the matter between us. Period.

People have also come to me with other’s business, I have to shut that down with a swift retort like, “I will keep the situation/persons in prayer”, “that’s not my battle to fight–only God can work that out”, or “have you been praying for them?” Talking about someone is not as effective as praying for them. I’m not saying that we can’t talk through someone’s situation to understand things better or help that individual in crisis—we just need to be sensitive to how the Holy Ghost is telling us to handle it so we’re truly walking in the Spirit, rather than the flesh.

Bottom line?  The Bible says we will give an account for every idle word spoken (Matthew 12:36). With God’s help, I’m working to make sure my spiritual balance sheet will indeed crossfoot on both sides. ~Debiting un-Christlike behavior (such as gossip and backbiting) is a credit to allowing God’s Holy Spirit to work.~

God bless you all!

Blen

Parrot Pic: http://www.squidoo.com/parrottalking

Willona Woods pic: http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&biw=1180&bih=514&gbv=2&
tbm=isch&sa=1&q=willona+woods+talking&

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Get in your single happy place..

Hey family!

It’s that time of year again where everything is hearts, flowers, candy and couples. Depending on where you are in your single comfort zone, this “holiday” can either be depressing (who wants that?) or a blessing (I’m thinking yes on this)!

You can volunteer at a shelter, rest home, soup kitchen or hang out with your single friends.  Pray for other singles and couples. Babysit or offer eldercare for a couple to be able to get some time together. You reap what you sow! Sow good seeds!!!

The perfect ending to a solo dinner!

If it’s possible, get some good takeout, make a decadent dessert, treat yourself to a massage or buy yourself something pretty! And it doesn’t have to be expensive–personally, I love a great scarf, hat, or any smell-good perfume or bath salt. Of course, if you can squeeze in a pair of shoes, a shiny trinket or a purse–go for it! 🙂

Yes, I know that things don’t bring you happiness or help with the loneliness, heartache, and occasional pain of not having a loved one–I get that. Only Christ’s perfect love can ease the pain of a lonely heart. I am grateful though, that God has blessed me to be in my “happy single place”, and I am FINALLY living as Paul told the  Philippians “….for I have learned, in whatever state I am in to be content” (Philp. 4:11). Being content is a process, and sometimes takes awhile, in part because we don’t want to do things His way {guilty}. Eventually, though, the Lord does get His way, so it really is better for us to yield early and often to shorten the painful process. It’s also best to be about your Father’s business, yielding to His will for your life, and taking care of yourself until the Lord blesses you with a mate, rather than wistfully wishing someone brought you flowers. Hence the suggestions for being busy, or getting your own gift.

Bottom line: When God is ready to reveal my intended to his missing rib (me), with God’s grace, I’ll be ready. Until then and even after the man comes, Jesus will always and forever be my first, true and best love. Period.

God bless you always!

Love you,

Blen

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Forgive-them-not?!!

Hey family,

Hope you all are well! I was thinking about forgiveness and decided to do a quick post.

My pastor, Bishop Larry Elliott often says “unforgiveness” is the number one sin among Christian people. That’s a little surprising, since our salvation was based in God loving us enough to forgive us–but Bishop raises a good point.

When someone wrongs us, as they often do, there’s no doubt that it hurts us–sometimes to the core, especially if it’s family, spouse, kids or close friend. And in many cases, we are JUSTIFIED to be upset with the offending parties. The thing is, though, we ARE NOT JUSTIFIED to have an unforgiving heart, mind and attitude toward them. “But, Blen, he left me high and dry with the baby and no money”, “she stole my man”, “they tricked me”, “teased me”, “broke my heart”, “violated my trust”, “said I wouldn’t be anything”, abused me”….I know, y’all, I get it and understand–they were wrong and you should be hot. Let’s take a look at this from God’s perspective.

Matthew 18:23-35 tells of the servant who owed BIG money to the king, didn’t have it, asked for mercy and his debt was forgiven. That same servant went to his friend and demanded the LITTLE money he was owed and cast the friend into prison. When the king heard, he cast the servant into prison, reminding him he should have given the same forgiveness he received. The Lord goes on to say that if we don’t forgive, we cannot be forgiven.

So by holding folks in the prison of our minds, we are really letting God know that we know better than Him and in essence really trying to supersede His wisdom. On top of that, WE don’t get forgiven. That can make us miss heaven! I know as much as can I mess up and am still growing in grace, I need forgiveness on a regular basis, don’t you? Is being upset with Lu-Lu about mistreating you in high school worth delaying your blessings, negating answers on your prayers, and risking your soul to eternal damnation? I’m checking the “no” box on that.

When someone does hurt you, know that the Lord sees and knows it, and will balance the scales in His time. In the meantime, take the situation to the Lord in prayer, and ask Him to help you forgive the offending parties from your heart, remove any bitter root, and heal you from the hurt and pain that was inflicted on you. This goes for the people that dogged you out years ago, to the cashier that rolled her eyes at you today– whether they asked for forgiveness, apologized or not.

You’ll know you have forgiven the person from the heart when the matter crosses your mind, is brought up, or you see the person and you do not get angry or keep negatively referring to the situation like it happened 2 minutes ago. God’s peace will totally take over and you will feel wonderful and marvel in the spiritual growth as you obey God’s Word.

True forgiveness takes God’s grace and a willing heart that wants to please God, rather than satisfy the flesh. Easy to do? No. But it is necessary to receive the benefits of God’s love and forgiveness.

Bottom line: You can’t change the past, but you can stop living in it.

God’s blessings to you!

Love,

Blen

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Intercede for those in need..

Hi all,

standing in the gap... for those standing in the need of prayer
Some time ago, I heard a man of God talk about generational curses. I didn’t think a whole lot about it at the time, but it’s a topic that warrants some brain time. Think about some of the issues that have happened to various members of your family or friends. Some have been in prison, hooked on drugs, been abusive, been abused, cannot hold a job, get into and pursue, unhealthy relationships, continue attracting the wrong persons….the list goes on. Isn’t there something we can do about this? ABSOLUTELY. It’s called intercede!

The power of intercessory prayer is so important. The Bible is full of examples where people interceded on the behalf of others.For example, Abraham interceded on behalf of Sodom (Genesis 18:20-33), Moses for Israel (Exodus 32:11-13), and even Jesus for us! (John 17:6-26). When we pray in faith, believing that God will move the mountain, loose the bands of wickedness, set the captive free, heal the sick, deliver that sister, save that cousin, send emotional healing to a friend, send a financial blessings to the needy, stop that woman from settling, make a man act responsibly, reconcile relationships, bless someone to be saved, stop an accident, strengthen a saint——there are so many strongholds that can be BROKEN when we intercede in the mighty name of Jesus! How many times have YOU been on the receiving end of someone praying on your behalf? As I think about a particular stronghold in my B.C. (before Christ) days, I KNOW someone prayed for that thing to be broken in my life. One day the stronghold was there…the next day it wasn’t! Look at God!

I got to thinking about some of the issues I’ve seen in my own family and how we attribute it to being lazy, unlearned, youthful foolishness or say–“hey, his mother did it, so…” “or..that runs in the family”. While the aformentioned may be true statements, isn’t it about time, people of God, that these things STOP running in our family? Is the power of the blood of Jesus strong enough to overcome any and all plans of the enemy and his minions? Then let’s stop sitting passively and get into prayer action mode. Find a fellow believer to touch and agree with in faith! Go up for prayer and stand proxy for the situation that’s overtaken your family/friends. Turn down a plate, knowing God will honor your sacrifice!

As a result of some of the things that have taken place in my own family, I decided to petition God to break any and all curses over my family, as well as over the lives of others. I’m excited about the changes that will take place—even though I don’t see them right now, since now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). In addition, with God’s grace, I will also try to remember to speak life, rather than death (Proverbs 18:21), about the situations I’m believing God for. I sometimes wonder if we pray in faith, just to talk negatively about the situation with our family and friends. I’m sure that delays the blessing unnecessarily. Time for that to stop, too!

As 2010 draws to a close, let us all take the time to pray in faith that generational curses will be and stay broken for our friends, family loved ones, and for everyone who is affected by the enemy’s tactics. When folks see how able our God is in the deliverance department, I do believe they will be asking “what must I do to be saved?” Amen? Amen! I’ll be waiting for the victory report!

In closing, I want to thank you for blessing me with your presence on this blog. Your hits, comments and kind words have been a blessing to the readers and myself. May God bless you and those dearest to you with his BEST blessings in 2011 and always.

Love,

Blen

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