Fear and People-pleasing

Hey there BCU Fam!

For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording (click here or on the BCU avatar below) and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:

  • In my recent internet travels, an influencer spoke about fear as is relates to people-pleasing.
  • While trauma is usually the reason, basically speaking, people-pleasing is rooted in the spirit of fear.
  • Sometimes, we operate in the fear of what will happen if we say “no” to people, especially if they are powerful, have influence, have something we need, or have a habit of “making” us feel guilty. That is called a snare.
  • If God tells us to say no, we must trust that He has better way, and His way will keep us safe.

Scripture references

Proverbs 29:25

25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.

I Timothy 1:7

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Galatians 5:19-21

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Proverbs 21:1

The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.

Galatians 1:10

10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

Ephesians 6:10

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.

People-pleasing is rooted in the spirit of fear. What is it about this person that we are so afraid of?

BCUFam, people-pleasing and the addiction to people-approval is a subtle snare set up by the enemy, and many of us have gotten caught up in it. The good news is that Jesus has come to set us free from the fear of people! If we can trust that He will take care of us despite what the people say, then we will ALWAYS be safe. Let’s pray!

Father in the name of Jesus, we thank you for your Word that reminds us that we do NOT have to live in the fear of people. As we come before you, please forgive us for the times that we allowed fear to put others before You, Lord. Also, Lord, please forgive us for being the person who used fear to set a snare for someone else.

In the name of Jesus, we ask you to please come in set us all free from the snare of people-pleasing! Break every chain of people-approval, over-explaining ,and even being the person who is using our power or influence to make someone fearful of us. Free us, Jesus from the guilt that comes after we say “no”. And Lord, if we are being told “no”, help us to receive it graciously! Bless us to remember not to be a snare to anyone, because You supply our needs, Jesus. We trust that You will work everything out for us, Your way and in Your time. So while we wait, we thank You, Jesus for sustaining us.

Fill our hearts and minds with your perfect love, as I John 4:18 reminds us, that casts out all fear, and please bless us to continue walking in our deliverance and victory! Thank You Jesus for blessing us to trust in You, so that we are safe. We thank You for answering our plea, and will ever give Your Name the praise, glory and honor for Who You are and all You do for us. It is in Jesus name we pray and thank You, Lord! Amen!

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Thank you SO much for stopping by! May God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!



The MOST impactful lesson I learned in 2018.

Hey there BCU Family!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:

  • 2018 was an amazing year of milestones.
  • The last week of the 2018 the Lord allowed a little “surprise” to come into my life.
  • That surprise is yet teaching a lot about rest, assignments, seasons and “no”.

 Scripture references

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:6).

 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any (I Corinthians 6:12).

And He [Jesus] said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat (Mark 6:31).

 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him (James 5:14-15). 

So… what are your thoughts about resting and saying no? What are your takeaways from 2018?  How will you apply what you’ve learned to this upcoming year?   Let’s talk some more about this—head down to the comment section so we can continue our dialogue!

If you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter,  and Instagram! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!



Learning to take “no” for an answer.

Hey BCU Family,

As usual you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the podcast blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy your study!

I was asking the Lord what to chat about this week and the Matthew 7 came up in my heart. The Lord gave me this thought awhile back and impressed upon me to share it with you as a wonderful reminder that “no” can be a beautiful thing.

Let’s take a look at Matthew 7:7-11

v7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
v8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
v9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
v10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
v11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

While we should ask, seek and knock, focusing on verses 9 & 10, we have to ask God to help us discern if what we are asking, seeking and knocking for is not a stone or serpent. In our limited wisdom and knowledge, we see and desire many things! And while they may resemble bread or fish, it’s really a stone or serpent–we just can’t see it. Many times we ask, plead, beg, fast and pray for that something or someone that is NOT a good gift–and will bring us BIG trouble.

The earliest account of disobedience to God’s “no” is in Genesis 3. The highlights are the subtle serpent (hmm, see the correlation?) walked up to Eve and asked her about eating off the one tree God said NOT touch or eat from, lest they DIE. (translation: that was a clear “NO”). Naturally, the serpent  discounted what God said, talked up the fruit and it’s benefits to the point where Eve ate it and gave some to Adam. Notice God did not take away the free will of Adam or Eve–they made the decision to disobey and had to suffer the consequences of overriding God’s “no”. Same thing for us–God tells us what we are to do and we can skip His will for ours, but there will be consequences.  In the first couple’s case, the serpent (who used to walk) was cursed, now crawls on his belly and is an enemy of ours, Eve got us multiple sorrows, pain in conception and childbearing, along with husbands ruling over us, and Adam now had to work the ground in order to survive. Their consequences were passed down to us! Our decision making should be carefully considered as we do not know how we will effect our future or the futures of our families, friends and anyone we’d come in contact with!

Well, what about a situation that’s not a clear “no” in the Bible? The Word of God has us covered there as well. Turn to Joshua chapter 9. Once again, I will not read the entire Scripture, (please read it when you get a chance), but the mighty Joshua who led the people after Moses passed away and winning all these battles with God’s help, lost a big battle this time.

The Gibonites, who had heard of Joshua and what the Lord was doing through him, were afraid and wanted “asylum”. So these crafty folks, who likely lived within a few miles from Joshua, dressed in old clothes, beat up shoes, brought moldy bread, old wineskins, saddled up and came to Joshua pretending to be ambassadors from a far country,  who needed protection–in fact they insisted that Joshua went into a league or peace treaty with these them. While Joshua inquired some more (obviously he was not sure he believed them–that was likely the Lord saying “no”),  he eventually made a peace treaty with these slick enemies! Joshua 9:14(b) says “…and [they] asked NOT counsel at the mouth of the Lord”.

The point here is we need to seek counsel from God on that thing that looks good or seems harmless–and be prepared to take “no” for an answer. Is it easy or pleasant to hear “no?” Do we like our requests to be denied? Do we skip away with glee after a “no”, especially when it’s something you really want–that ministry, job, car, house, opportunity, person? While it may hurt now, in many cases, we will see up the road that God protected us from being stoned or bitten. As we look back over our lives, how many of us can tell the Lord thank you for the “no”? I know I can! GLORYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

As we prepare to wrap up, going back to Matthew 7, please understand that we SHOULD ask, so it will be given, seek so we can find, and knock, so it shall be opened–no doubt there! Just know that if what we are seeking, asking or knocking for what is not a good gift, we accept that with His grace. We do not want to keep asking for that opportunity disguised as a stone, that job that’s more like a serpent, right?  Remember in Matthew 7:11, Jesus says, that if we, being evil (fallible folks striving for perfection), know to give good gifts to our children (you would not give a six-year-old your car keys or let your pre-teen only eat goodies and sweets) then how much MORE shall your Father (who made everything, all of us, knows the end from the beginning, what the best plan is for our lives) which is in Heaven  give GOOD things to them that ask Him? Let’s trust God and wait on the good stuff, BCU Family! What do you think? We want to hear from you!

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Until we are together again, may God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you–and #StayOnTheWall!