The Slick “Clapback”

Hey there BCU Fam!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording (click here or on the BCU avatar below) and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:

  • A few years back, the term “clapback” was trending on the internet and in-person.
  • Clapbacking is not new–basically, it means if someone insults you, you insult them back in a more demeaning way.
  • As people of God, many of us know we are to respond to people in a biblical way that pleases God.
  • While many of us may have gotten the victory over insulting others, we can often get “revenge” in a different way.

Scripture references

Proverbs 4:23

23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

I Peter 3:8-9.

Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Psalm 19:14

14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Romans 12:19

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.


Philippians 4:6-8

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Matthew 6:15

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.


The Lord saw the offense coming and He chose not to intervene, so there must be a lesson for us..


BCU Fam, secret clapping back is an area many of us have/ do struggle with from time to time. When the Lord alerts us to this breech of His Word, we want to quickly repent, ask God to help us forgive the person, and then have a gentle conversation with the person about the offense, if the Lord leads you in that direction (not all offenses need to be confronted). Then follow the leading of the Lord regarding reconciling your relationship. I realize that not all relationships will be restored back to their original state, so please listen to the Lord, versus your own judgement, so He is pleased with the outcome. Once we take care of everything God’s way, then our thoughts can be devoted to what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, virtuous and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Amen? Amen!

As a reminder, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Also, if you so inclined, join us Thursday nights––we are LIVE on YouTube 8:05EST/7:05CST. You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio Google Play, and Apple Podcasts.

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

Heart and mouth

Hey there BCU Fam!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording (click here or on the BCU avatar below) and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:

  • In my recent travels, I ran into a wonderful person of God, who I LOVE and admire.
  • We were able to briefly love on one another and went our separate ways.
  • The Lord brought back to my mind an interesting encounter this person and I had years ago.
  • This encounter was a good reminder about how what is in our hearts (thoughts) comes out of our mouths.

Scripture references

Proverbs 4:23

23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Matthew 15:18-19.

18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

James 1:19-20

19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Psalm 51:10

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.


Philippians 4:6-8

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.


Our words should be tasted before they are served.


BCU Fam, I am so grateful to God to report that I had forgotten about the incident until I spoke to you all about it. And even in that, I have no ill feelings, anger or bitterness–that’s a surefire way to tell if you have forgiven someone–and that’s something to give God praise for! The Lord is also reminding us make sure our hearts are clean (with His help) and full of Jesus, so that we do speak, what comes out is clean (even if we have to have a difficult conversation) and full of Jesus. Amen? Amen!

As a reminder, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Also, if you so inclined, join us Thursday nights––we are LIVE on YouTube 8:05EST/7:05CST. You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio Google Play, and Apple Podcasts.

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

Offending and offended

Hey there BCU Fam!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording (click here or on the BCU avatar below) and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:

  • A common theme the Lord has put on my mind and in my teaching is forgiveness, biblical confrontation and reconciliation.
  • At some point in all relationships, we will either be offended or offend someone–the key is handling it God’s way.
  • I recently dealt with a “perceived” offense that reminded me of a perceived offense from many years ago.
  • Let’s talk about how the Lord helped me work through both situations.

Scripture references

Matthew 18:7,15.

Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

James 3:2

For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

Proverbs 3:6

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.


Matthew 5:23-24

23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

James 1:19

19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

I John 4:20

20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?


Rather than stew in the situation or “fill in the blanks”, I was led to go the person and ask what happened.


BCU Fam, since we know that offenses are part of our relationships and our walk with Christ, it’s important for is to handle them biblically. If not, our pride will keep us offended, angry, accusing, bitter and hateful–and none of these are attributes of God. Moreover, we jeopardize our relationship with God and our place in Heaven. No offense on earth is worth keeping us away from Jesus, right? Let’s ask God to search our hearts to see if there is any situation where we need to forgive and/or confront the person. Once we do, He will instruct us as to how to handle the situation so the results will be perfect, because God is perfect. Amen? Amen!

As a reminder, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Also, if you so inclined, join us Thursday nights––we are LIVE on YouTube 8:05EST/7:05CST. You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio Google Play, and Apple Podcasts.

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

7 reasons why we do not forgive.

Hey there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the podcast blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy your study!

So if you’ve been listening for any length of time, you may notice the the Lord has been bringing up forgiveness.

Quite a bit.

Forgiveness means a dismissal of a debt; letting go or a release. Our version of forgiveness usually deals with us giving out “justice”, meaning, giving people what we feel they deserve (bad treatment/punishment). In actuality, our forgiveness should be steeped in grace (giving people the good they do not deserve) and mercy NOT giving people the bad treatment/punishment they deserve.

It’s been said that lack of forgiveness is the number one sins committed among Christians—which is pretty sad and scary considering the Matthew 18:34-35, that reminds us if we don’t forgive our brother of their trespasses from the heart, we’ll be delivered over to the tormentors (see Matthew 18:23-35 for the entire Scripture in context).

Below, are 7 common reasons* that people choose to hold on to offenses. And Scriptures answers to why you should let go of the offense.

1) I’ll forgive when he/she apologizes. See Matthew 5:23-24.

Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

Sometimes we need to initiate the conversation to accelerate the forgiveness process.

2) I’ll forgive when they PROVE they changed. | See Matthew 18:23-27

Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.

 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

Notice that in order to be forgiven, the king did not require any proof of change. He simply forgave his servant. Grace and mercy in action.

3) I’ll forgive her, but I won’t forget what she did. | See Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Typically, whatever the offender did was something that has hurt us, makes us angry, disappointed, etc.  If we keep “replaying” in our minds what the offender did, we are in direct violation of what God says we should be thinking about. Forgiving the person will release you of the hurt and allow you to think on the positive things Paul talks about.

4) He does not have to worry about me,  he is out of my life forever. | See Matthew 18:32-35; I John 3:15 

32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

Bottom line? If we don’t forgive, we will NOT make it into Heaven. Period.

5) She needs to come to me FIRST. It wasn’t my fault. See 1 John 2:16; Proverbs 16:18; Matthew 5:23-25.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

That statement is steeped in pride, which goes before destruction. Once again, we may need to initiate the conversation in order to facilitate the forgiveness.

6) I forgave him, but were not speaking. |See 1 John 2:16; Proverbs 16:18; Matthew 5:23-25

Pride rears it’s ugly head again. See the Scriptures for reason number 5.

7) If I forgive her, I’m a punk, admitting wrong, letting her off the hook. |See Matthew 5:7.

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. 

Mercy is NOT giving someone the bad/punishment they deserve.

Forgiving is SERIOUS business. How many of these reasons have you used to justify not forgiving people? What are you thoughts about forgiving? Please head down to the comments section to share your thoughts so we can continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter,  and Instagram,  You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

*Reasons were adapted from https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/the-real-reason-we-don-t-forgive.html. Updated and Scripture-referenced by BlenCouragesU.

Continue reading “7 reasons why we do not forgive.”

Stopping the replay part 3: The reaction

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the conversational format, please tune into the podcast recording and refer to the written post for the highlights and corresponding Scriptures. We pray the post blesses and encourages you.  If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

In part one of our series,  we talked about how we handled difficult conversations that are left with hurt feelings and unresolved issues, to whit, we often tend to replay the conversation in our heads over and over again. The root of the replay is lack of forgiveness which is importance and a necessity in a christian’s life (See Matthew 18). Last time, we took a look at the need for us to forgive ourselves.  In our final installment, let’s explore the replay in terms of “the reaction”. You know, how the you or the other person re/act before, during or after a conversation.

Podcast highlights:

  • We sometimes rehearse the outcome in our minds because of:

— the actual reaction (usually unfavorable).

–the anticipated reaction (what might happen).

–the inaction (the person didn’t react/follow-through how YOU wanted).

  • These feelings are rooted in pride, fear and/or a lack of trust in God’s Word and direction.
  • Unless there is a victory report, replays are not of God.

 

 

Scripture to consider:

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7) .

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.. (2 Corinthians 10:5).

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world (1 John 2:16).

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother (Matthew 18:15).

Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, says the LORD (Jeremiah 1:8).

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8).

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer (Psalm 19:14).

What are your thoughts on what we’ve talked about? How are your “self-conversations” going to be different? Let’s talk about it in the comments section!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU