Fear and People-pleasing

Hey there BCU Fam!

For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording (click here or on the BCU avatar below) and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:

  • In my recent internet travels, an influencer spoke about fear as is relates to people-pleasing.
  • While trauma is usually the reason, basically speaking, people-pleasing is rooted in the spirit of fear.
  • Sometimes, we operate in the fear of what will happen if we say “no” to people, especially if they are powerful, have influence, have something we need, or have a habit of “making” us feel guilty. That is called a snare.
  • If God tells us to say no, we must trust that He has better way, and His way will keep us safe.

Scripture references

Proverbs 29:25

25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.

I Timothy 1:7

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Galatians 5:19-21

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Proverbs 21:1

The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.

Galatians 1:10

10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

Ephesians 6:10

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.

People-pleasing is rooted in the spirit of fear. What is it about this person that we are so afraid of?


BCUFam, people-pleasing and the addiction to people-approval is a subtle snare set up by the enemy, and many of us have gotten caught up in it. The good news is that Jesus has come to set us free from the fear of people! If we can trust that He will take care of us despite what the people say, then we will ALWAYS be safe. Let’s pray!

Father in the name of Jesus, we thank you for your Word that reminds us that we do NOT have to live in the fear of people. As we come before you, please forgive us for the times that we allowed fear to put others before You, Lord. Also, Lord, please forgive us for being the person who used fear to set a snare for someone else.

In the name of Jesus, we ask you to please come in set us all free from the snare of people-pleasing! Break every chain of people-approval, over-explaining ,and even being the person who is using our power or influence to make someone fearful of us. Free us, Jesus from the guilt that comes after we say “no”. And Lord, if we are being told “no”, help us to receive it graciously! Bless us to remember not to be a snare to anyone, because You supply our needs, Jesus. We trust that You will work everything out for us, Your way and in Your time. So while we wait, we thank You, Jesus for sustaining us.

Fill our hearts and minds with your perfect love, as I John 4:18 reminds us, that casts out all fear, and please bless us to continue walking in our deliverance and victory! Thank You Jesus for blessing us to trust in You, so that we are safe. We thank You for answering our plea, and will ever give Your Name the praise, glory and honor for Who You are and all You do for us. It is in Jesus name we pray and thank You, Lord! Amen!

As a reminder, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Also, if you so inclined, join us for our Thursday Night Bible Study––we are LIVE on YouTube 8:05EST/7:05CST. You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform BCU is available on. Some of those platforms are Amazon Music, AnchorFm, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, iHeart Radio, Spotify,  Stitcher Radio , and many more!

Thank you SO much for stopping by! May God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

Overcoming over-thinking.

Hey there BCU Family!

You have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the podcast blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy your study! 

The last time we were together, we talked about our runaway imaginations– the thoughts that go on in our heads (worry, anxiety and rage) when our expectations and reality do not meet up.

As I ponder that post from last week, the Lord started talking with me about the thoughts we have about others…and what they think about us. And why.

A. You throw on old clothes to run out to the market. A fellow shopper casually glances in your direction. You think to yourself, I should have put on better clothes…they must think I am a bum or here to steal something.

B. After greeting a person you haven’t seen in a while, you think, “she must be wondering why I gained so much weight.”  You think about this so much that don’t hear anything she is saying–and then—you interrupt her conversation to explain your weight gain.

C. You are tardy to a function and think that everyone is wondering why you are late. As you greet each individual, you apologize over and over profusely.  No one noticed you were late.

D. You overanalyze conversations, facial expressions and electronic communication.

  • You mention to a person that the color green (a color they hardly wear) looks good on them. You start to think they may be thinking that you were saying they did not look good in any other colors except for green and should only wear that color.
  • Why did Boss raise his eyebrow when I mentioned I liked Costco–I bet he thought I was going to apply!  I LIKE my job. I don’t want to get fired! I better start looking for a job.
  • I think this mass email is directed toward the length of my presentation. Joe and I were the only ones who presented last week and his presentation was 10 minutes and mine was 11.5 minutes.

Does any of this ring true at all, BCU Fam? 🤦🏽‍♀️

Overthinking can happen to any of us in times of stress, anger, or heavy decision making. For many over thinkers, it’s an everyday process that can rob you of time, drain your emotions and your peace and security with God. While God has given us the ability to think and reason for ourselves, guessing what people are thinking, attempting to correct what we are guessing and/or living in terror of what people think is rooted in FEAR. which doesn’t come from God.  Let’s look at what the word of God has to say about this.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

  • We have power in the name of Jesus and His perfect love in us casts out all fear (I John 4;18). A sound mind in the Greek is sophronismos which means self-control; discipline or moderation.  If we allow the power and love of Jesus to rule our minds, our thoughts will be under control and disciplined to what the Lord and His Word tells us versus what circumstances or situations tell us.

The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe (Proverbs 29:25). 

 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10).

  • Truthfully speaking, overthinking, fear and people-pleasing are a vicious cycle. Solomon says that the fear of man is a snare–a trap that the enemy sets to rob you of your spiritual, financial, mental, emotional and sometimes even physical liberty. Fearing people will always keep us in bondage to them and their ever-changing and often out-of God’s will agenda. It takes practice and yielding, but, true servants of the Lord seek to please only Him.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Me: because he trusteth in Me (Isaiah 26:3).

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

  • Peace is a benefit God provides to those who keep their minds on and trust God. It also comes as a result from us exchanging our cares, anxiety or worry (a by-product of overthinking) by praying humbly and with fervency, along with thanking God for what we are asking for. The peace (tranquility, rest, quietness in mind) that comes about will allow you to hear God’s thoughts on what, if anything to think/say.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer (Psalm 19:14).

It is interesting that David included words and thoughts that need to be acceptable in the sight of God. Meditations mean to turn or revolve subjects in mind; continued thoughts or contemplation. When we feel the desire contemplate certain thoughts over and over, we should head back to Philippians 4:8 and use it as our “thought sifter” and ensure they line up with the Word of God. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. What we allow our minds to ruminate on will eventually spill out of our mouths. Isn’t it better to speak what Jesus would want us to say?

You know, BCU Fam, our minds are SO powerful, thanks be to the God that made us! The Lord knows some of us overthink and has made a provision for our deliverance–we just need to ask for His help. Once He heals our minds, we can maintain our healing by continual prayer and mediation on His word. In additionEphesians 5:18-20 reminds us to be filled with His Spirit, as well as speaking to ourselves in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord–along with giving God thanks for all things. With all of these spiritual measures in place, BCU Family, we are assured of the victory of overthinking and over speaking. Amen? Amen!

As an introvert, I can DEFINITELY relate to this topic! With God’s help, I really have to be intentional about allow the Spirit of God to govern my thoughts. What about you? How do you deal with your overthinking tendencies? Let’s talk more in the comments section below!

Finally, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , and Instagram! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU