Christian conduct, Ready for Matey?, Singles chalk board, Stay on the wall, Take care
Comments 14

YES, I’m READY! I think…

Hi ladies!

Again, I’m delighted at the responses posted here…thanks and please keep it up!

This week’s topic deals takes a little from some of the previous posts. Are you ready for God to bless you with a mate? Really ready? If so, how do you know? What about you, Blen, you ask? Ok, I’ll share my thoughts.

I believe I’m ready, for the most part. My hesitation is similar to Tamisha’s statement about God still working some things out in me. The thing is, I’m not sure if they need to be worked out before, or will be during the process of meeting whomever is God’s will for me.

I think I mentioned that although I can cook and do when I want, I don’t always do it…I’m cool with Lean Cuisine, General Mills and 1-800-Callpizza! This sounds trivial, but if dude is looking for meals everyday like in the movie “Soul Food”, we have issues out of the gate! 🙂

Same thing goes for spending money, while the Lord blesses me to be good steward most of the time (I should say He gives me the ability to be a good steward all the time, I just don’t always listen), I’m not sure I’m ok with my hubby “controlling” my spending. I was watching Wheel of Fortune during couples week, and as they amassed the cash, I thought, “would I really want to share $50 grand?” Not that I’d blow it, I just don’t want to be told how it should be spent. These may sound like small “get over it, Blen” issues, but the Bible says the little foxes spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15).

I’m thinking because I’m older and more mature, I’d try to compromise on things, but that may take a miracle. In addition to praying about this, is there a way to prepare for these possible issues? Maybe love will just conquer all? Is anybody else “wrasseling” with similar thoughts?

Talk to us!

~Blen

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14 Comments

  1. Tamisha says

    Hey Ladies!! Blenda, you must have read my mind and heard my heart!! I hope I can be very open and honest on this blog, because I surely need some sisterly/brotherly advice.

    Am I ready for GOD to bless me with a mate? I “wrassle” with that question daily. I even wonder if I already met him and the hinderance from that relationship blooming is me. See, I was with my daughter’s father for 10 years but GOD clearly spoke to me and told me not to marry him. (Thank GOD I listened and dodged that bullet..lol) I went so far as to accept the proposal, but I knew he wasn’t the one for me long-term. So with that, when he speaks, I listen. Since then, being single off and on (more on) has made me accostomed to doing things when I want and not having to think about someone else’s feelings or opinions. Like Blenda mentioned above, I can cook but do I do it everyday? NOPE. Thats why I taught my daughter how to do those things. Am I ready to start sharing responsibilities with someone, being asked questions, etc, I don’t know??? Also included in this equation is my daughter. She will be 16 next month and between making sure she is on the right track, do I even have time to think about someone for me??

    So in all Blenda, you are not alone. I have alot more to say but I will let somene else speak for now..:)

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    • blenblogs says

      Hey Tamisha!

      Great comments, Tamisha— please keep em coming! Open, honest and all!

      Whoo whee! You and I are like twins separated from birth! Lololololol! My daughter is 21 now, but you and I have a similar story as far as her dad and I was concerned. Yep…God interceded on my behalf, even though I thought I knew what I was doing all those moons ago. (HA!)

      Anyway, a few years after we parted ways, I got saved and didn’t know at the time, but in retrospect of my over 29-ness, I had a lot of maturing, healing and learning to do about myself, my relationships with people and with God, so I learned the hard way. I had no roadmap at all. Single moms weren’t as plentiful as they are now, so in some sense, I think the church ministers to us a lot better. (Disclaimer: I’m not placing blame on the church nor justifying my situation, or my mishandling of it, just making a statement in truth and love for clarification).

      Now, we singles (moms and the childless) can encourage one another and talk about why we feel the way we do and what we can do about it in a Godly manner without people looking at you like you just grew a fox head out of your neck.:-)

      Tamisha, we stand with you in prayer that the Lord will bring you wisdom, clarity and understanding on who the Lord has for you in His will and timing, and that while you raise your beautiful daughter, (wise choice) He continue to prepare you, her and him, so your family will be a wonderful blessing in Jesus’ name.

      P.S. We’re also praying God will bless him to do some of the cooking! (wink)

      Blen

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  2. Adrienne says

    Hello Ladies,
    When you have been head of your house for any number of years, it will be a struggle to allow the man the God has for you to step up to the plate, be I believe that when that man enters your life we need to be honest with them about our felling and concerns regrading their and our expectations. I fell being ready means totally trusting God,and being complete in Christ, our completeness doesn’t come from having a husband but in having Christ in our lives (Colossians 2:10). When I realized that it was God who completed me and not the titles for being a wife, mother, or any thing else I was able to love me.

    I was married and I got married for all the wrong reasons, and believed I never wanted to marry again, but all that has changed. Am I ready to step in the mix again, I think so, because I’m willing to wait on God this time and I am satisfied and single, until God says otherwise. So remember Ladies when that time comes for us to be one with one husbands, don’t lose yourself in him the man only in Him God.

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    • blenblogs says

      Adrienne, welcome to the blog! Excellent comments from you!

      You make very valid points about being complete in Christ first. That is VITAL on order to even get the right people in your life, let alone get married! I have a story about that for an upcoming post. Too many women want the titles and not the work.

      I also like how you said it will be a struggle, since we’ve been “runnin thangs”, for so long. This is why it’s important to take time to count up the cost of marriage to ensure we are ready to make that sacrifice.

      Finally, and I have been thinking about this, I agree that wanting being married shouldn’t consume us, as our hearts and lives belong to Christ. I think we all agree that hubby or not, we want the Lord to say “well done my good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord.”

      So while we belong to God first (right, ladies?), we are here to talk constructively, honestly and positively about this season in our lives that can, at times consume us, (well, it did me for a spell–real talk), but then the Holy Ghost helps us to hold on through God’s Word, Him speaking, a preacher, a song or even talking like we do here. And if anyone is feeling consumed, know that it happens and we are here to assist with God’s help! Iron sharpens iron!

      Adrienne, again, wonderful post! Please continue imparting your wisdom!

      Like

  3. Wanda says

    This one is a good one! I enjoyed reading the comments too. Now that I sit here and think about it, I can’t really say if I’m ready or not. I need to pray more on it. I know I definitely need some guidance when it comes to interacting with guys on this level now that I am in the Lord. I will be real and say that I get defensive when guys show me personal attention~like singling me out with compliments and stuff because I get the feeling that they have a motive behind it. Y’all can definitely keep me in prayer about this. I also have an issue with even coming to the Lord about my wanting a relationship. When I get to this part in my prayer(s), I put it out there, then feel bad for asking, feeling that I should be more worried about my soul and making it in more than having a mate…wow, after rereading what I wrote..It is clear that I do have some things to work on!!! Jesus give me the courage to bring it to you in prayer!

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    • blenblogs says

      Ok Wanda, you, Tamisha and I are triplets! I am the same way when a guy approaches me, cause I’m thinking the playa from the Himalayas is trying to run a game! I think you have to listen with our heart. Anytime dude starts talking about how good you look, and not much else about getting to know you, resist that devil so he will flee from you!

      Last year, I was at a gas station when jive turkey starting talking to me. I’ll talk with you to see where you are, but the flag came up when he complimented my french manicure (ok), but then asked did I have my toes done, too (BUZZER SOUND)!

      I sometimes felt like it was wrong to ask God for a husband when so many others need things that were “more important” and my soul should be my priority. But at this point, thank God, my soul and relationship is number 1, and He knows our desires anyway and tells us to ask in His Word.

      So we will be standing in agreement that the Lord will lead, guide and direct your path clearly in the mate matter, Wanda. And if it is in His will, you and him will spend the waiting period in prep mode, while living for Christ to the utmost.

      Fabulous comments, Wanda!

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      • Wanda says

        Thanks Auntie! It feels good to know that I’m not alone when it comes to hearing the mess these guys try to bring. I would think them seeing the back of your heels would tell them they soo FAILED in getting my attention. I haven’t experienced the “Gas Pump Garbage” yet, but I’m pretty sure it is bound to happen at some point.

        I also had dinner with our second newest newlywed~ Mrs. Lomba. She and I had a few laughs over the adjustments of newly married life. I just love her!

        At least if it does happen, you’ll be prepared—a lot more so than I was LOL!!!
        We need to get some of the newly married folks here to give us some lessons on adjusting. I am all about preparation! 🙂

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  4. Faye says

    Hi Blenda,
    It’s beautiful the way the Holy Spirit works. Always in Unity of the Holy Spirit. I know now is not the time for me to remarry, yet. I am like so many others, still in the process of healing. I am also set in my ways and my children are grown and I have no distractions. I am simply loving up on the Lord for this season of my life. I have admit when there are problems with the car, or the long trip to Alabama like I just took and repairs to the house that need to be done. I wouldn’t mind being married. I just don’t feel like doing it all anymore. It was tricky watching my other sister sleep while her hubby did all the driving. But God kept me and the trip was worth it. The Unity of the Spirit that I am talking about is that on July 31, 2010, at Gospel Light Community Church, 222 Charles st, Bpt., CT. we will be hosting our 1st “Single Parent Seminar, the “I Am” Journey with God! It starts at 8:30 and ends at 5:00. It is free and we expect the Lord to Bless! Topics include, Lord, I’m so lonely, How did I get here?, and But what about my children? (which I will be teaching) and God has a Boaz for you! Also an anointed guest speaker, Sr. Kathy Sneed! The goal is to encourage and see healing. Sorry to have gone off topic. Just wanted to share, that single parents are on God’s mind. Amen and Stay Blessed!

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    • blenblogs says

      Hi Faye,

      Fabulous comments, my friend!

      No worries about going off topic—your observations hit home with me, particularly when you spoke about your sister’s hubby–it’s hard sometimes to watch our loved ones with their spouses while we wait. But bless God for keeping you! He is SO faithful that way!

      The seminar sounds wonderful! Unless something changes,I have a previous engagement, but I would LOVE for you to share the highlights with us if that’s okay with you.

      Be blessed and thanks for stopping by Faye–come back again!!!

      Blen

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  5. Tanya says

    Hey, Blenda
    I really am so proud of you and all the wisdom God has given you.

    Just a thought: When I was single for 5 years after being saved it was good in the begining because I never had time just for me. I got to learn so much about myself and Jesus. As the years started to progress it was very hard to be alone. For a long time I was in denial telling myself I was better off without a man. Less drama and never having to worry about heartbreak.
    Then hear comes Jesus letting me know that I did want a mate because I was just so afraid. He told me do you trust me? I will never give you anything that is not best for you. So I gave God a list of what I wanted in a man.

    I was so honest with him and it felt so good to be that honest. Then I let it go to God! really let it go. I went to the music store to buy equipment to start recording music again for God’s Glory. And what do you know I see a man that was singing in the store and I stoped and listened to him. Little did I know that he was going to be my husband. When I looked at his face I knew him. I saw him at the grocery store and other places.

    Next thing you know God joined us together. I talked to God and said are you sure Lord are you sure? Three times he said he is the one I made for you. When I really let go of the thought that I will never be married: It truly happened in less than a year, from the night I gave God a list of what I wanted in a man.

    Ladies be blessed and know that Jesus loves us so much and knows what we need.
    Never feel like it won’t happen for you. When you least expect it! that’s when it will happen.

    You never know! You and your future husband could have cross paths already…………

    I love you Blenda!!!
    And much love to all of you Ladies.

    Tanya

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    • blenblogs says

      Tanya!

      HI!!! Welcome and thanks for stopping by!!! Your words are SO encouraging and very timely! In my latest post, I talked about how we should do what God has called us to do to HIS GLORY with NO shame and He does complete us, if WE let Him. Sometimes we get in the way of ourselves. Well, I should speak for myself. 🙂

      Your testimony is a true blessing and an encouragement to all of us that God is faithful and answers prayer in His time and in His way and in the meantime we should be busy getting to know ourselves and Christ better so we’re prepared to receive whatever blessings He has in store for us!

      Tanya, May God bless you and your family…please come back again!

      Love you!!!

      ~Blen

      Like

  6. Tanya says

    You are welcome!!!!! You are a Great Woman of God…… And a real person.

    Love You

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  7. Wanda says

    Heya Wanda!
    Thanks for the update! I can’t tell you want to do…but I know God knows the desires of your heart because He desires to give His children good things, I think it’s okay to ask–there’s no sin in that. He won’t give Him to you until you are ready anyway :-D. But on the real, no take care of the “more important stuff” and God will take care of you in that area of that is your desire.

    Love ya!

    @ miss Faye: I hear you on the convenience of having a spouse/significant other.. I really feel that way right now because I have a car now. lol
    @ Tanya..reading your post was a suprise! but definitely an encouraging one. I myself am dealing with a split of denial/desire for a spouse. I desire to be married one day, but won’t ask for it because I feel that I should be more concerned about more important stuff.

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