When gossip strikes back…

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

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There’s a gospel song called “Birds in the Church”. Actually, its a narrative by Rev. Benjamin Cone, Jr. (from Mississippi Mass Choir, I believe) who among other things, tells us how people can be a lot like parrots–freely repeating other people’s business. I get tickled when I hear it, but the truth is evident!!!

Before I was saved, I could be a little “Willona-ish” (remember her from the TV show Good Times) when it came to discussing the happenings of people’s lives. The intent wasn’t malicious, just something to talk about, dissect, and share my “expert opinion” on the matter at hand.

“Chile, have you heard?”

This behavior continued after I got saved….more of a bad habit, I suppose–and apparently God was trying to get my attention and did when I shared something rather personal/serious in confidence with someone I’ll call “Thelma”, who went back told their family.  Mayhap that wouldn’t have been so bad, if the family was offering sound wisdom, but Thelma came back to tell me the family laughed about it. That may sound petty to you all, but I was SO hurt that someone would repeat and make light of my concerns to others so casually.


Another time, I was involved in a sensitive situation where someone I’ll call “JJ” had to get involved. Now, JJ was helpful throughout the situation, but promptly started spreading the details of what happened and it got back to me.

I politely confronted JJ, letting them know it really wasn’t right getting others involved in a matter that was supposed to stay between selected persons. JJ was VERY apologetic–and I’m certain the chatter wasn’t done to be mean, rather it was just JJ’s habitual, but hurtful behavior.  With God’s grace, I forgave Thelma and JJ and we’re cool, but I have to say I felt really hurt, embarrassed and betrayed! Through that pain, God showed me how awful it is to idly parrot and betray confidences AND that my idle chatter were NOT Christ-like at ALL! Thankfully, with His help that behavior soon ceased in Jesus name, and has been dormant for the past couple of decades.

In the days since those times, God guides me on who to tell what to and when to do it. Luke 2:16-19 tells us about the birth of Jesus and how the angels talked to the shepherds and those shepherds told people, but Mary, the mother of Jesus, now “kept all these things and pondered things in her heart”. There is a valid reason she didn’t share that information with everybody!  Follow the leading of the Lord as to who to confide with.

Another lesson is, that God also blessed me to be a confidant. People do come to me with sensitive information and private challenges, knowing that with the grace of God, I will offer wise council, pray and keep the matter between us. No ifs, ands, buts or suppose. Period.

My final lesson is that people have also come to me with other’s business and that behavior needs to be shut that down with a swift retort like, “I will keep the situation/persons in prayer”, “that’s not my battle to fight–only God can work that out”, or “have you been praying for them?” Talking about someone is not as effective as praying for them. I’m not saying that we can’t talk through someone’s situation to understand things better or help that individual in crisis—we just need to be sensitive to how the Holy Ghost is telling us to handle it so we’re truly walking in the Spirit, rather than the flesh.

The bottom line?  The Bible says we will give an account for every idle word spoken (Matthew 12:36).  That means we have to explain or justify WHY we said what we said., and I have to tell you, BCU Fam, we will have NO justification whatsoever.  Let’s repent TODAY and with the help of God, work on our spiritual balance sheet, so that we will have more credits (allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our conversation) rather than debits (allowing the flesh to rule the conversation). Amen? Amen!

So, BCU Fam, what’s your reaction to this week’s post? How do you guard against gossip coming out of your mouth and staying out of your ears?  Please scroll on down to the comments section and let’s continue our conversation!

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