Hope, healing and a prayer for the abused woman.

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

For this post, I STRONGLY recommend tuning into the podcast, (click the BCU avatar below to listen) as the Lord suddenly led me in a conversational and prayerful direction that could not be captured in words. Please feel free to drop us a line in the comments section or contact us at Blen@BlencouragesU.com for prayer or assistance. God bless you!

So the Lord blessed me to write this many years ago and I posted it on my blog back in the day where there were no podcasts, it at least I didn’t know what one was!

The reason I thought to resurrect the piece, is because there is a show I watch from time to time that chronicles true stories of people, (mostly women), who have died at the hands of someone who says they “loved” them. The heartbreak for the families and friends is painful to watch and in some cases, avoidable.

Many women, myself included, have a natural desire to love and be loved–and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when we fill the specially crafted, God -sized void  in with the wrong man/men. Trying to fill that void outside of God can lead us onto a path that, if He doesn’t intervene, can lead us to our own demise.

At this point in the post, the Lord started talking, so, if you are not already doing please listen to the remainder of the post for the words He gave, as well as the prayer of hope and healing.

There was a time I was not free.
There was a time I was hurting.
There was a time I was being hurt.
It was mental, it was physical, it was psychological, it was emotional.
It was from someone who said, but, “Bae, you know I love you”.

I was bound in bondage–at the time I really didn’t know,
The enemy had this sabotage planned
in order to forever claim my mind, body and soul.

I went through life trying to mask the pain
A voice telling me that I was to blame!
I just wasn’t good enough; I needed to improve
Then he’s really love me–hey, that’s a good move!

But even with this brand new me,
The changes I made that everyone else could see
They STILL weren’t good enough for he
I was still being lied to, he’s still cheating on me

But the prayers of my family, my loved ones, my friends–
they did not fall on deaf ears, for God heard and saw my pain.
And He wanted to dry my tears.

After leaving from that mess, a new freedom I’m in!
I could be myself– FINALLY and the healing could begin!
I let that bad man out of my life– and praise God I let Jesus in!

To forgive me, love me and show me love
That unconditional agape amour that comes from above
To show me how to forgive and love others, too
And to learn to love myself and all that God blesses me to do.

Love my skin, my lips, and my hair
to learn from my past mistakes, with others I’ll share,
The real way to love is yes, though a man,
His name is JESUS– it’s part of His divine plan!
Oh, to trust Him to give us whatever it is that I need–including a man
A real man who will love, honor and cherish me correctly,
Like the fearfully and wonderfully made person that I am.

I want women everywhere to know that true love starts and ends with Jesus, as “old school” and cliche as that sounds, it’s true. He can heal your broken heart and make you whole again. He desires to fulfill all your needs, we just have to wait on Him. It’s not easy, but totally worth it. Need help? Contact us here: Blen@BlenCouragesU.com, and with the help and leading of the Lord, we’ll do what we can to be a blessing to you.

Thank you so much for tuning in and your prayerful support! Lord will, until the next time we’re together, may God bless you, keep you, make His face to shine upon you and give you peace as you, #StayOnTheWall.



Far above rubies…


Hey ladies (and gents that have sneaked a peek–it’s ok :-D),

I have yet another question roaming around in my head courtesy of a conversation some good friends and I had regarding relationship conduct.

As women of God and believers in His Word, Proverbs 18:22 says: “whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour of the LORD”. In the process of him finding and “courting” us, how much pursuing do we let him do? And as a follow-up question, how “easy” do we make the pursuit for him?

For example, we were discussing courtship, and one of my friends said she would not be driving to or meeting any man halfway to make it easier for him to see her—he needed to make that sacrifice. She cited a couple who during their courtship, the young man drove from PA to OH, (I believe) every weekend without fail (and it was quite the distance). The other friend agreed, but was thinking once a couple is in the relationship, it was ok to take turns on who was driving to meet whom.

I understand the latter view about taking turns later, but I think it’s important to have the foundation laid that dude needs to do the pursuing–he needs to work to get you! Before you pooh-pooh my view, think about a relationship you were in (or know of someone) where you did a lot of the work..you calling him INITIALLY and ALL the time, driving him around INITIALLY and ALL the time, paying for dates INITIALLY and ALL the time, (ok..you get it) paying your half of the bill, meeting him on his terms, doing what he wanted….it was probably good at first, but you got tired of that likely and so did he. Now, I’m not saying to be spoiled and have everything your way, but if you make things too easy for a guy too early, he gets used to that treatment and subsequently will conform accordingly. So when he doesn’t want to pick you up, take you out, or pay for a meal–you wonder why? You spoiled him. Hey, why should he spend his money at “The Chicken Coop” when you can buy the chicken, season it, prepare all the fixins and watch TV on your couch? (I speak from experience, ladies). Trust me, after awhile, when date night comes up and you are expecting special, you’ll be as hot as a firecracker on July 4th when he calls talking about, “Boo, so tonight, why don’t you make that real good spaghetti you cook?–Matlock is on at 8pm. Be right over!” 🙂

Ladies, while preparing a meal, being cost-conscious, or doing something special for someone you like is not a crime, again the timing is crucial. Think about the way God made men– they have a special drive and determination–they play football, practice to be the best at something raid corporations, participate in extreme sports, etc., because they like a challenge. Anything that comes too easy to a man is just a trinket to be tossed aside when it’s no longer “shiny and new”. We are NOT trinkets! Proverbs 31:10 says, “who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” That’s why we have to wait to be found AND not be so anxious to please him that we “trinket-ise” ourselves. Any item that’s far above rubies is going to cost (I don’t mean just monetarily) and require some work!

It’s been said the sweetest fruit is at the top of the tree. Anybody can pick fruit of the low-lying branches! Let him work–climb the tree to get that fruit! Yes, you know how to open your car door and put on your own jacket– but it’s okay for him to do it! If he is too spoiled and lazy to work to get you, he won’t work to keep you!

As we prepare for God to bless us, let us pray for wisdom to govern ourselves accordingly when it comes to that special someone so we are not cold and aloof, but yet not too yielding in our efforts. Better yet, let’s rely on God (and wise council) to give us instructions on how to be the virtuous woman He put in all of us!

Love you!