Declaring independence from “foolishmess!”

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the post blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

I wanted to share an “interesting” experience or maybe test that echoes the importance of prayer, and exercising wisdom so your are free from “foolishmess”.

Years ago, I was at a conference at a hotel where a handsome guy from across the aisle and I made eye contact and smiled. You know, just a friendly “hi”.  After the conference let out, as I went to run an errand, I ran into “Eye Contact!”  After some initial conversation, he very politely asked what I was doing later, where I was going to eat (all okay) and THEN he asked “could he “holla at me” after my errand (insert face of horror here). While I do not recall my exact response, it was time to exit the conversation.  As I departed, I told the Lord if this man was going to be frippery, he needed to just go away so I didn’t have to deal with him again. Ugh.

As I made my way back from my errand and through the lobby,  I heard “yo”, but I kept it moving. I heard “YO!” again. Then I heard “YO!” loud and close behind me. My curiosity said, “who is that hollering like that?!” I turned and it was Eye Contact!! Now remember, BCU Fam, I’m quite grown; I haven’t seriously been called “yo” probably since I was in high school and did not like it then. Oh, but it gets better, y’all.

So, now that he has my attention by default, he asks me to call him. And not on his cell, but in the room he was staying in, as he is looking for piece a paper to write down this valuable information On top of that, he was now speaking in hushed tones! Hello? Seriously? Ya’ll can draw your own conclusions on what Eye Contact was thinking. I’m thinking, is this happening right now? What kind of monkeyshine is this? Are men still acting like this who are over age 35? Seriously?!

While I was disgusted by Dude trying to run a game on me, I thank God for helping me to think and recognize the trick of the enemy. What happens is, the enemy likes to send a decoy to derail you when you’ve been waiting and trusting God for your blessing. Let’s review the “highlight reel” in this guy’s game, so you can declare your independence from foolishmess.
1)  The approach:

Any gentleman who really wants to approach a lady will NOT address her by “yo”. And a real lady won’t answer to that, either. That street talk is not àpropos for a virtuous woman whose price is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10).

2) The pursuit

When a man wants to get to know you, he will ask you for YOUR number and pursue you, rather than him telling you to pursue him. That’s against the natural order of things! Yes, it’s 2017 and while clothes and slang has changed, men do NOT value anything handed to them! By nature men are hunters and like a challenge–they like to work for what they get! Genesis 29:20 says Jacob worked seven years for Rachel, but it seemed like a few days because of the love he had for her. He did not ask Rachel to do the work while he chilled! He happily worked to get her. Sure, the customs have changed in terms of obtaining a wife, the principle still applies–he should happily do the work in pursuing you.

3) The Conversation

I know this is obvious, but is worth a revisit. No gentleman should act like he’s worried about seeing you in public. I have heard, “oh he’s shy” and “sometimes you have to help them along”. I don’t discount shyness or advocate women giving men a hard time “just cuz”. There is NO excuse for ANY MAN to be looking over his shoulder and whispering while talking to you. That’s code for married, engaged, attached, or scouting out his next prey.

What can happen to those of us who have been waiting, when we are approached by someone (rather than the one) we can respond in emotion versus wisdom–especially when we’ve been waiting awhile. Emotion says, at least we met in a store, not a club. Emotion says, at least he works part-time. Emotion says, at least he attends church occasionally.  Emotions says, he has potential.  And anytime we have to justify some of these areas which should already be shored up, we are walking in emotion versus wisdom. James 1:5 says God gives wisdom liberally for the asking. Why make foolish, emotional decisions unnecessarily? Better to not get into a situation than get caught out and live with the consequences.

With God’s help, do NOT be the low-lying fruit that any man can come by and pluck off the vine. The sweetest fruit is at the top of the tree and requires some work by the person who wants it—it’s okay for the gentleman to pursue you. If he really wants to get to know you, he will put the work in.  Know your worth and trust that good and perfect gifts come from God (James 1:17). If the “gift” doesn’t line up to what’s good, it’s NOT from God—-reject it, keep waiting and renewing your strength like Isaiah 40:31 reminds us! God has not forgotten you, BCU Fam! Your blessing is enroute according to His will and perfect wise timing.

So what encounters have you had with the opposite sex (women sometimes get out of order as well), that took you by complete surprise? Let’s talk about it in the comments section!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and iTunes!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

 

 

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Hearing vs. listening to The voice of God

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the post blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

About 4 years ago, my brother, Minister Garry, preached a sermon entitled “The Voice” based on  John 12:20-32. This post is in reference to listening to that still, small voice that tells us what to do. Do you hear it or listen to it? There is a difference.

Awhile back, I was talking with a handyman *”Lou” who was trying to restart his business and offered to quote my friend, Lee and I for some work we wanted done on our places. Lou was polite, friendly, professional and sounded reasonable! Great!

After we talked, The Lord told me to mention a contract to Lou–we need to get this on paper, right? I left a message for Lou one evening to write up what he quoted me, what materials I needed, etc. I mentioned the contract to my friend, Lee, who said “why would we need a contract? Lou is just starting out, it’s a small business….”

Family, I was torn! How many judge shows had I seen where verbal contracts were not honored? AND I have a business degree. I know better! But, I felt bad, Lou was starting over, and needed a break. So I hushed the Lord’s voice about pushing the need for a written contract. Lou said he didn’t have any contracts anyway🚩 (red flag).

So, Lee, Lou and I scheduled a time we could all meet, to see what Lee needed done. That day, Lou was over two hours late–no call. We telephone out of concern and Lou gets on us about the heavy traffic, citing we don’t understand, he was coming from another town, and since we were expecting him, he figured we’d just wait. 😼(bright red flag).🚩🚩🚩

While I’m listening to this frippery, trying to exercise self-control over my rising temper, I kept trying to explain to him that we understand traffic, just call if you’re going to be late. After a 15-minute conversation, Lou still didn’t think he needed to call if he was tardy (flashing red flag). While Lee dismissed Lou’s attitude and finalized plans, I heard The Lord tell me to not let him do any work on my place. I second guessed a little though–was I in my flesh? Maybe he had a bad day. We all mess up from time to time, right? I admit I hoped I misheard, but I kept watching and praying just the same.

Lou came and worked on Lee’s place. It started to look REALLY nice! Lou even called when he was late or not coming….initially and sometimes. He didn’t show up for a day or two, but when he did come, he sang, worked and did a FANTASTIC job. When I stopped over Lee’s, Lou kept asking me when he could start on my place. I told him to finish up Lee’s first, (while I watched and prayed). Even though the work was getting done at Lee’s, The Lord’s voice was clear. Don’t do it (final waving flag with flashers).🏁🚩🏳🏴

How’d Lee’s story end? While what was done was indeed beautiful, some other major work was only three-quarters of the way done. Lou didn’t show up to finish. He decided to start another job with another client! Lee was VERY upset, and ended up having to get someone else to finish up the work. Messy, I tell ya!

With the help of the Lord, we’ve got to get to a place where we HEAR and LISTEN to His voice.

Why is it that when the Lord speaks, we sometimes second (or third) guess His direction? Granted, we want to make sure we are walking in the Spirit, but in many cases it can be fear, worry and unbelief. Sara and Abraham (Genesis 16), feared they were too old to have a child and went outside God’s divine will to start the process. Yes, you may be bobbing your head, but we are not exempt!

Bottom line: Sometimes the fear of hurting feelings, worry of losing out on a good deal, getting “cussed” out or looking foolish keeps us bound and making unwise decisions. The enemy has a way of trying to drown out the voice of God by using this age-old tactic. It’s our responsibility to know the voice of God and yield to it as Jesus said in John 10. As we steep ourselves in the Word of God, in prayer, meditation and study, God’s voice will become clearer and the voice of that stranger will cause you to flee from it and the things it suggests.

Let’s practice tuning out the noisome pestilence of the world and the enemy and tune in The Voice of God to ensure that the things we do and say will be pleasing to Him, Amen? Amen!

So, BCU Fam, that’s my story! What are your thoughts about the post? Please scroll on down to the comments section and let’s continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and iTunes!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

Commit your works to The Lord and He will establish your thoughts (Proverbs 16:3).

*names have been changed and details omitted to protect privacy.

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Hope, healing and a prayer for the abused woman.

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

For this post, I STRONGLY recommend tuning into the podcast, (click the BCU avatar below to listen) as the Lord suddenly led me in a conversational and prayerful direction that could not be captured in words. Please feel free to drop us a line in the comments section or contact us at Blen@BlencouragesU.com for prayer or assistance. God bless you!

So the Lord blessed me to write this many years ago and I posted it on my blog back in the day where there were no podcasts, it at least I didn’t know what one was!

The reason I thought to resurrect the piece, is because there is a show I watch from time to time that chronicles true stories of people, (mostly women), who have died at the hands of someone who says they “loved” them. The heartbreak for the families and friends is painful to watch and in some cases, avoidable.

Many women, myself included, have a natural desire to love and be loved–and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when we fill the specially crafted, God -sized void  in with the wrong man/men. Trying to fill that void outside of God can lead us onto a path that, if He doesn’t intervene, can lead us to our own demise.

At this point in the post, the Lord started talking, so, if you are not already doing please listen to the remainder of the post for the words He gave, as well as the prayer of hope and healing.

There was a time I was not free.
There was a time I was hurting.
There was a time I was being hurt.
It was mental, it was physical, it was psychological, it was emotional.
It was from someone who said, but, “Bae, you know I love you”.

I was bound in bondage–at the time I really didn’t know,
The enemy had this sabotage planned
in order to forever claim my mind, body and soul.

I went through life trying to mask the pain
A voice telling me that I was to blame!
I just wasn’t good enough; I needed to improve
Then he’s really love me–hey, that’s a good move!

But even with this brand new me,
The changes I made that everyone else could see
They STILL weren’t good enough for he
I was still being lied to, he’s still cheating on me

But the prayers of my family, my loved ones, my friends–
they did not fall on deaf ears, for God heard and saw my pain.
And He wanted to dry my tears.

After leaving from that mess, a new freedom I’m in!
I could be myself– FINALLY and the healing could begin!
I let that bad man out of my life– and praise God I let Jesus in!

To forgive me, love me and show me love
That unconditional agape amour that comes from above
To show me how to forgive and love others, too
And to learn to love myself and all that God blesses me to do.

Love my skin, my lips, and my hair
to learn from my past mistakes, with others I’ll share,
The real way to love is yes, though a man,
His name is JESUS– it’s part of His divine plan!
Oh, to trust Him to give us whatever it is that I need–including a man
A real man who will love, honor and cherish me correctly,
Like the fearfully and wonderfully made person that I am.

I want women everywhere to know that true love starts and ends with Jesus, as “old school” and cliche as that sounds, it’s true. He can heal your broken heart and make you whole again. He desires to fulfill all your needs, we just have to wait on Him. It’s not easy, but totally worth it. Need help? Contact us here: Blen@BlenCouragesU.com, and with the help and leading of the Lord, we’ll do what we can to be a blessing to you.

Thank you so much for tuning in and your prayerful support! Lord will, until the next time we’re together, may God bless you, keep you, make His face to shine upon you and give you peace as you, #StayOnTheWall.

Love,

BCU

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Attention passengers: Can of ugly opened in seat 13C!

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the post blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

A previous post of mine talked about forgiving people who have wronged us, and believe me, I had to and continue to try to be the first partaker of the fruit! When I wrote the post, I was thinking of people close to us like family and friends, as we interact with them so often. Well, the forgiving and attitude check must extend to the “stranger” as well.

A while back, I had to take a trip for work, so I skipped on to the airport, boarded my plane, stowed my carry-on bag and took my seat. An older lady boarded after me with her roller board bag, looking for an empty spot in the overhead to stow it. She opened up the area where my bag happened to be and took it out. I see people do this all the time, to shift and make room for all the bags, so no big deal right? WRONG!

“Miss Lady” proceeded to stow her bag, and leave mine in the floor, and take her set behind me, claiming my bag was in her spot!! HELLO????!!!!!!!!!! The seated passengers looked at me in horror, while I blinked in disbelief and scrambled to make an audible sentence. I think I said something like, “I wasn’t aware this was kindergarten where we had assigned spaces, ” to whit another passenger told her, “that isn’t the way things work”. At that point without realizing it, I actually started praying aloud and asked the Lord to help me to deal with the situation. I thought about the scene that could have ensued had I yelled at her–I’d probably be the one escorted off the plane!

The Lord heard my cry and some of the other passengers aided me to help find a place for my bag and even offered to help me get it after we landed. I looked at her a few times to get a read on her face, but she wouldn’t really look my way. God bless her.

I don’t know what was going on in her head to exhibit such crazed behavior, but let me tell you, the grace of God surrounded my mouth and actions, and to Him I am grateful. I am not confrontational anyway, so getting in someones face is not my style. I will say, I don’t like being mistreated, either, so suffering in silence is not always apropos–I’m telling you all prayer was the fastest route to the right answer.

Looking back, I know this was an attack of the enemy and the Lord must have been testing my reaction and way of handling the situation in the spirit and not in the flesh. While the Lord blessed me to get through part of the situation successfully, in retrospect, I wished I had talked with her.

When people are depressed, hurting, upset or whatever, they direct their anger at whoever is in the path. Often, we take it personally (sometimes it is personal), but mostly not. As people professing salvation, and knowing Jesus can heal, save and deliver like nothing/no one else, we have to practice letting people know that, rather than sucking out teeth in disgust or laying people out.

Titus 3:3-5 reminds us we ourselves were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lust and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But after the kindness and love of God our Savior towards us appeared, not by our righteous works, but He saved us according to mercy, by His blood and Holy Ghost. These verses sobered me right up! With God’s grace, let’s hide that Word in our hearts, so we can dig deeper in our hearts and remember that Word when something like this happens again.

Bottom line: People of God, when we see someone “acting up”, we really want to avoid reacting to the outburst, rather should seek to get to the root of the issue. So, let’s ask the Lord what the best way is to minister to them! Whether through a quiet prayer, conversation, scripture sharing, a tract (my mom says I should have given her one :-D) or witnessing, in all we do, we want God to be glorified, the people we are witnessing to and those in the vicinity are edified, His name magnified and that enemy horrified! Someone needs to know that Jesus IS the answer for ALL of life’s troubles. Amen? Amen!

So BCU Fam, that’s my story! What are your thoughts about the can of ugly that was opened up on me? Please scroll on down to the comments section and let’s continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and iTunes!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

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Should we be “paying close attention” to the non-clappers among us?

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the post blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Our world is full of people inspiring us with their brand of quotations–some good, some not so much. Every now and again one of these pop culture quotes becomes the “flavor of the month”, to the point where even the body of Christ start to adopt and use them. Now, I am not saying that we can’t learn a thing or two outside of our “66” aka, The Word of God. The question is, does what we’re repeating line up with the Word of God? The phrase in question: “Pay close attention to those who don’t clap when you win.” This mindset is full of pride and has no business on the lips of a Christian. Let’s take a look at a few reasons why.

1. If I happen to “win” (get an award, recognition, a new job, career, minister to someone) or whatever the “win”(I prefer blessing) is, rather than paying attention to who isn’t clapping, the FIRST thing I should be focused on giving God praise for it! Period. God’s Word reminds us that apart from Him, we can do NOTHING (John 15:5b).  Also, Acts 17:28 declares, it is in Him [Jesus] we live, move and have our being! So whatever blessing we get is due to Him giving us the ability to think, reason, and follow through. So, any recognition is a result of God blessing us to allow our light to shine before men so they saw our good works–and those works bring glory to our heavenly Father (Matthew 5:16), not ourselves–that invites trouble. Case in point: after giving a wonderful speech, King Herod was killed instantly because “he gave not God the glory” (See Acts 12:21-23).

2. If we’re constantly counting the number or taking names of the “non-clappers,” exactly where is our focus? On people or on God? Yes, we are human and will notice when someone isn’t for us—there is a difference between noticing and focusing. When we “zoom in” to the non-clappers, the enemy gets a good foothold, as he starts whispering all sorts of thoughts, scenarios and plans full of malice, hate and retaliation, which are all rooted in pride. Any form of pride is directly opposite of God’s will for our lives and set us up for destruction. Remember Satan is a fallen angel–and it was his pride that got him thrown out of heaven. Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18).

3. In close relation to the last point, what’s the motive behind your “win”? Exactly why are you doing what you do? Is it to gain attention and notoriety from people? Or is it to  allow God to use you to be a blessing to someone else? In Matthew 6:1-2, Jesus warned the disciples of intentionally and willfully giving their alms or offerings in front of people. The Pharisees did their works publicly to be admired by the people watching which, happens to be the reward–the people watching! Once again, pride is out, front and center!

When you think about it, seeking out “people-admiration” is fleeting, temporal, “sometimey” and the works we do fade in peoples’ minds. What good are man-made accolades beyond the moment they are given? Will they ever wake us up in the morning? Protect us from danger? Reward us at all? Never! The Word of God admonishes us to give secretly, knowing God is watching and will reward openly (Matthew 6:3-4). I guarantee the reward God has is much richer than a few pats on the back!

4. What about the ones who do clap? A wise man of God shared that early in his ministry, while getting ready to teach during a Bible study,  he was disappointed at the number of people who did not show—and fussed about it to the ones who were present. Someone finally asked, “well, what about those of us who ARE here?” At that moment, the pastor realized he was in error, apologized and said he would NEVER [fuss about who isn’t present] again! He admonished of us listening to rejoice and thank God for the ones who are with you. Psalm 68:3 says, let the righteous be exceedingly glad; let them rejoice before God, yea, let them exceedingly rejoice (Psalm 68:3).

BCU Family, I believe most everyone loves and needs support and encouragement, myself included–there is nothing unscriptural about that. We should be available, excited and willing to cheer on whoever is being blessed in whatever way God sees fit. The reality is at some point, there will be times that the people we feel should be there for us will not be, for some reason or another–and yes, it can hurt. The awesome thing about God is we can take our hurt to Him, allow His balm to heal us right away, and keep our love toward the offenders consistent, just like God’s love is toward us. In addition, we also should be reminded that we should never make flesh (people) our arm–the flesh will fail! Rather our trust should be in the God of all flesh (See Jeremiah 17:5-8), as we endeavor to please Him. In the end, we want Jesus to “clap” for us by saying “well done good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord.” (Matthew 25:23). Once you hear those words, whoever did or did not support you in this life will not matter.

What are your thoughts on this “watch for the non-clappers” mindset? Please drop me a line in the comments so we can continue the conversation.

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and iTunes!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

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