BlenCouragesU

“He did what?! “Well, what where YOU wearing?”

Hey there BCU Family,

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH.

WARNING: This subject matter of sexual assault is a highly sensitive, yet needful to discuss topic. The angle presented here is just one of several ways we can and should open up dialogue and work toward solving the problem with God’s help for without Him, we can do NOTHING. If you have been the victim of any inappropriate behavior, we are praying for you. Please reach out to us at Blen@BlenCouragesU.com if you’d like further counseling and prayer. We pray the post blesses you. If so, please leave a comment! Thank you and may God bless you.

I usually refrain from commenting on most current events–mostly to keep a guard over my mouth as Psalm 141:3 says. In light of the recent and alleged sexual misconduct cases with so many high-profile men, it brings a few thoughts to mind.

Tina*, a quiet, but smart third-grader was heading back to class from the bathroom when she sees Danny, a very tall and popular 4th or 5th grader coming toward her. As they met up in the hallway, Tina greeted him with a smile and cheery hello. Danny responded by blocking Tina’s access to get by and shoving her into a nearby open custodial closet where his hands were in places they should never have been. Tina, confused and scared, confided in an older student who replied, “well, what were you doing down there anyway?” Shamed, Tina didn’t ever report the incident. It still lingers in her mind.

Lala* started developing early–around age 10-11. Paulie, a scary, bully-type guy, would discreetly touch her in passing in the hallway remarking about how well she was growing. Lala’s mom talked about how certain women were predators and liked to take people’s men away. They wore clothing that was revealing and that asked for trouble. Lala didn’t know what to do, so she did nothing. Thankfully Paulie moved away the next school year. She was always confused about how to deal properly with men.

Young Mona* landed a great job with awesome pay, benefits and a wonderful working environment. Mona came back from lunch one day and before she sat down to settle in, started to check her voice messages. As she stood listening to the messages and went to have a seat, she jumped up and turned around, only to see Mark, an executive sitting in her chair, smirking. In telling her story, it wasn’t the first time Mark had harassed someone–it even went to HR, but no one believed the women. Surprised?

*Loo went out on a dinner-date with an “official”. Since the date was going well, Official wanted to extend the time together with a trip to the movies, to which Loo thought was great. Partially through the movie, Loo thought Official accidentally brushed up against her–until it happened repeatedly. Loo addressed it, to which Official replied, “I’ll try and stop, but I can’t promise anything.” Sigh.

BCU Family, I tell these true stories (with permission, and *name changes of course), to illustrate a point.

From where I sit, most boys have this God-given aggressive nature and natural leadership capability which is GREAT! The thing is, they may not be taught HOW and WHEN to be aggressive. Yes, go hard when you are playing a sport or learning a task–those qualities help make men the amazing leaders God called them to be. At the same time, it’s important for men to be taught exercise self-control, proper restraint, respect and an understanding of the word “no”. And if the “no” boundaries are crossed, consequences must be swift and memorable, versus a “boys will be boys” mindset (which is completely unscriptural–God holds anyone who does wrong accountable. Period.)

Yes, there are women who are beautiful, mesmerizing, enticing, tempting and may even go after you. Solomon warns against that in Proverbs 6 (note, the book of Proverbs is for everyday living for everyone, not ONLY those who know the Lord).

Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.

Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?

Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? (Proverbs 6:25,27-28).

As these stories unfold in the news, we are witnessing that lust and lack of self-restraint will eventually “burn” the aggressor, either in this life, and, if repentance and salvation is not chosen, that burn will be for eternity in the life to come. While women DO have a responsibility to be chaste, and in many (not all) cases, are taught properly, who exactly is teaching the men to control themselves?

Who is warning the men of the dangers of lust, that when it’s finished, it brings sin and death? (James 1:15).

Why is it that a women brings up inappropriate behavior, her past is questioned?

Why ask about her choice of clothing? Is it really okay to grope or assault someone just because they are wearing a skirt? Pants? Or because she’s “well-developed?” She’s the last person leaving the room and man sees this as his opportunity? Are those the signals she’s “asking for it?”

Why do we say, “what was she doing in the public break room getting coffee when the man walked in? Didn’t you know his reputation? Sense something? Why didn’t you run?”

Why is it women don’t report assault right away?

Why are women made to feel ashamed and at fault?

Why do women keep silent?

These are questions that need answers, problems that need solutions and teaching that needs students, BCU Fam. These conversations and reinforcement need to be had at home, on the playgrounds, in the barbershops, in social media and yes, in our churches. Especially in our churches.

I John 2:16 reminds us that all lust will be ever present in the world.

That doesn’t mean we have to obey it.

Bottom line: Lust is not a skin problem, rather a sin problem that Jesus is equipped to handle. We need only to trade our fleshly desires for His precious Holy Spirit and His way of living our lives, which would be perfect, including tests and trials yet absent of the desire to practice the very sins that result in hurting others and damaging their lives, as well as the private/public shame, humiliation and punishment that both the victim and predator live with.

Why aren’t we talking about this?

From what I read, 1 in 4 women have been the victim of assault/inappropriate behavior. That’s a large population of people who may be walking around broken on the inside.

Why aren’t we talking about this?

What are your thoughts around this sensitive topic? Let’s continue our conversation in the comments section below.

As a reminder, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and now YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

4 Dec 2017

BlenCouragesU4 Comments

When getting disciplined feels unfair.

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the conversational story, please tune into the podcast recording and refer to the written post for the highlights and corresponding Scriptures. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

If discipline was a part of your childhood, what were your thoughts after that lecture, being yelled at, the tears after that sore bottom, or being grounded? I can recall commiserating with my brothers and the neighborhood kids/school mates about how “unfair” my consequences were. I walked in on a similar conversation between Jaz (8) and Peanut (7), and as I reflected on our talk about WHY they were being corrected, this podcast was born soon after! 🙂

Podcast highlights:

Correction is a part of the walk with Christ.
Proper chastening is needed to help us become more Christ-like.
The lesson learned and consistent application far outweighs the “pain” of the discipline.

Scripture references

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15).

Hebrews 12:5-13

5And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaks unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

6For whom the Lord loveth he chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.

7If ye endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chastens not?

8But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but He for our profit, that we might be partakers of His holiness.

11Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

12Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

13And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

Listen, BCU Fam, I am NOT a fan of being on the receiving end of correction, so with God’s grace I do what I can to stay OUT of trouble by following what God says, rather than willfully doing things my way, intentionally ignoring His voice, or repeating the same lesson over and over. When the discipline does come though, I thank God for it, because while it doesn’t feel good, it’s for MY good–being more Christ-like and making it to the Kingdom of Heaven! Besides, once we make it in, we will not remember a THING about what we went through to get there–we’ll just be glad TO be there, amen? Amen!

What are your thoughts about getting disciplined, BCUFam? There’s a comment section here on the BCU site, just ripe for us to continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , Instagram, and YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and iTunes!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

27 Nov 2017

BlenCouragesU2 Comments

BCU Q&A: Effective ministering in tough situations.

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the post blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

So BCU Fam, a wonderful listener sent in a question this week, that I was led to post about this week. Here it is:

Q. “How to you minister to someone who has been Holy Ghost filled, yet they don’t feel free after walking in the Lord a while?”

How do you help them, when the scripture, if the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed (John 8:36), does not help them or somehow they find it hard to rest on that scripture?

Do we put them down and call them faithless?
Do we tell them they don’t believe God [take Him at] His word?
Do we make them feel less than?
Do we avoid them all together and say “I’ll leave them to God!”
All these things [knowing they need to do what God says], the person may be well aware of.. so, how do they really get help?
Or is there any help for them?

Wow, I thank God for the individual who sent this question in! First, let’s deal with the person who is ministering.

In any situation Holy-Ghost filled believers encounter with believer or non-believers, we should be walking in the Spirit versus walking in the flesh (Galatians 5:25). As we walk the way Christ is directing, we’ll remember that all we come in contact with is our neighbor (see Luke 10:27-37), and we are to love them as ourselves (Galatians 5:14).

That said, in this case, love may come in a loving rebuke/correction as God directs us, but operating in the love God gives will never set out to intentionally make someone feel badly, ignore them or self-righteously say, “God will deal with them!” Those attitudes and treatments are rooted in pride.

Pride tells us to manipulate people by name-calling, avoiding, side-eyeing or half-hugs thereby “punishing” the individual who isn’t behaving how we would like. What that does is discourage the individual, besmirch your Christian witness and sets you up for chastening for mishandling someone made in God’s own image (see Genesis 1:27 and James 3:9). Let’s be prayerful and ask God to help us to react the HE wants us to, versus spouting off cutting remarks and behaving unscripturally.

Next, let’s understand the individual we’re ministering to more and look at the Scripture referenced by the listener in a bit more context. In John 8, Jesus was talking with the Jewish people, of whom some believed, but many did not–and they were questioning Him. Take a look at the conversation.

31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;
32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
33 They answered him, We be Abraham’s seed, and were never in bondage to any man: how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free?
34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever commits sin is the servant of sin.
35 And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abides ever.
36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

We see here that Jesus came to set the servants of sin (all of us) free from sin. So as we look at the question posed, it sounds like this Holy Ghost filled person may not be continuing in the Word of God (verse 31) and choosing truth (verse 32). Rather this individual is choosing to be in bondage and enslaved to sin (verses 33 and 34), and voiding abiding in the Son and the freedom Jesus provides. ‘

Did you notice the emphasis on the word “choosing?” Does it sound harsh? Or maybe you’re thinking, “He can’t help it” or “But, she’s been through so much already”. I agree, he can’t help it. She sure has been through some serious tests. That’s why we need Jesus down on the inside (the Holy Ghost) to help us help it, and to comfort and guide us as we go through. This, along with good biblical teaching, study, prayer, fasting and Christian fellowship, helps us we to hear and recognize the voice of the Lord and continue in (hearing and doing) His Word.

Please note, having the Holy Ghost does not automatically stop us from sinning, we will always have free-will to make whatever choices we desire. God wants us to love Him more than the sin, so we should choose to obey Him. In this case, either the person is willfully and actively choosing to walk in bondage to sin, or passively allowing the sin to take over and yielding to it. Either way, it’s a fleshly choice contrary to the will of God and there is a consequence (verse 35a). Now that we understand that better, let’s look into ministering effectively.

Really, we can loop back to the first paragraph where we should be prayerful, listen and respond with exactly God is telling us to say at the time (walking the the Spirit and on kairos mode). This is done without expressing your opinion, being puffed up, or being guided by your emotions. If the person doesn’t respond immediately to what was said, or turns back to the bondage, we still want to LOVE them. Love doesn’t mean you agree, condone or support what the person is doing/ not doing, yet love continues to treat the individual with long-suffering and kindness (I Corinthians 13), as we pray until the Lord works on the heart of the person in His way and on His timing.

Bottom line: God’s love and mercy was and is still continuously extended to us in so many areas, as His disciples, we are admonished to show that love and mercy to others, along with correction, as prescribed by God. This way, God is glorified, the person is edified, the enemy is horrified and you, BCU Family member, gratified to continue in the Word of God as a good and faithful disciple and servant of our King. Amen?! Amen!

Let’s talk: What’s your reaction to our reader’s question? What advice would you give? Please drop us a line in the comments section below and we’ll continue the conversation!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

18 Nov 2017

BlenCouragesULeave a comment

How much does disobedience cost?

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

Podcast outline:

So, in having a conversation with Professor Peanut (aged 7 1/2), we discussed the price of continued and deliberate disobedience and that play now, pay later is not the wisest of decisions. Here are the high points of what you’ll hear.

The importance of listening and following directions.
Thinking through the consequences of disobedience.
The need to be filled with the Holy Spirit (see Acts 2:38).
ALL decisions carry a consequence—good or bad.
My own story where I rebelled as a youngster–and the HUGE price I paid.

Here is the podcast link!

Scripture references:

Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid. (Romans 6:1).

Therefore to him that knows to do good, and does not do it, to him, it is sin (James 4:17).

For he that sows to his flesh shall reap corruption, but he that sows to the Spirit shall reap life everlasting (Galatians 6:8).

There was a certain rich man, which had a steward; and the same [steward] was accused unto him that he had wasted his goods. And he [the rich man] called and said unto him, how is that I hear this of you? Give an account of your stewardship, for you may no longer steward (Luke 16:1-2).

And the foolish said to the wise, give us of your oil for our lamps have gone out. But the wise answered and said, not so, lest there be not enough for us and you. but rather, go to those that sell and but for yourselves. Ans while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage and the door was shut. Afterward came also the other virgins, saying Lord, Lord open to us. But He answered and said, verily I say unto you, I know you not (Matthew 25:8-12).

His lord said unto him, well done, thou good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many. Enter into the joy of the Lord (Matthew 25:23).

Whew! This was a sobering, but needful lesson, BCUFam! What are your thoughts about willful disobedience? Paying those consequences? Is it a struggle? There’s a comment section here on the BCU site, just ripe for us to continue our conversation!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

*Join us on Periscope every Thursday night at 8:05pmEST on channel BlenCouragesU.

11 Nov 201711 Nov 2017

BlenCouragesU1 Comment

BCU podcast-100 celebration FINALE: “Love and non-support.”

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the interview, please tune into the podcast recording. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

The BCU 100-podcast celebration-conversation is in it’s FINAL episode. We’ve been answering your questions, proctored by my fellow teacher, sister and friend, Jewel Taylor. Let’s run down what we’ve talked about this series!

In our 100th podcast we talked about the beginning of the BCU ministry.

In our second installment, we talked about what was difficult about the keeping the ministry going and started talking about the Dispensations.* (Innocence (1), Conscience, (2) and Human government (3), are spread over the second and third segments).

In our third segment, we ended up talking/teaching about how steward over our time properly, and that talked continued into the our fourth segment.

In segment 5, we chatted through The Dispensation of Promise, (4), talk about the erroneous mindset behind “claiming” the blessings of Abraham and the importance of keeping your treasures in Heaven.

In our next segment, we continue our conversation and highlight heart treasures, debt and who we really work for.

In segment 6, we interrupted our Dispensation conversation to explore if Christians can be “too deep” and how saved parents balance raising unsaved children, especially around “holidays” such as Halloween.

In segment 7,we circled back to the Dispensation of Law, (5) and where we are currently, the Dispensation of Grace. (6) The common thread through our discussion was the cost of willful disobedience.

Next, we picked up right where we left off –where Jewel commented about the detriments of neglecting God’s presence. We also talked through the importance of having the Holy Ghost on the inside, and with the imminent return of Jesus to rapture His people, how we really want to walk in the Spirit vs walking in our flesh. We also finish up the Dispensations with the final one, the Millennial Reign (7).

Then,answered a question about what happens when someone leaves a church due to a bad situation and, also what happens to the responsible party. If this has happened to you, (I know I’ve been through that type of hurt myself), FORGIVENESS is paramount, BCU Family. You can check out our studies on forgiveness here and here.

Next,we got into a controversial topic regarding attending a friend’s second marriage. This subject was controversial when the Pharisees brought it up to Jesus , and still is today. We went straight to the Word, Matthew 19:1-9 to answer that question, as the Bible is our final authority on everything.

Then, our talk continues on the subject of divorce and remarriage, yes, but moreover, how focused are we on listening and obeying God in all of our ways versus pleasing people.

Last time, we tackled a question about attending a baby shower for an unwed mother. And no, the sweet, innocent baby God blesses to come here has NOTHING to do with the question. Listen in as we expound on what the Word (Romans 1:28-32, especially verse 32) says, and my personal story on this sticky subject.

As we wrap up the 100-podcast celebration series, Jewel and I continue our conversation about “taking pleasure in” or supporting our friends and family in wrongdoing in the likes, shares, comments and sometimes, quite frankly, our silence. We also talk about the importance of treating people with LOVE, regardless of whether or not we agree with what they do.

Please click below for the podcast, and as you listen we’d love to hear your thoughts on the content in the comments section on the BlenCouragesU.com page below.

Have you become part of the BCU family? All you need to do us subscribe to BlenCouragesU.com. Subscribing is free and this is a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , Instagram, and YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and iTunes!

Thank you SO much for stopping by and being a part of the celebration! God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU