Child, have ya’ heard?~ A lesson on gossip

Hey Family!

Have ya' heard the latest?
There’s a gospel song called “Birds in the Church”. Actually, its a narrative by Rev. Benjamin Cone, Jr. (from Mississippi Mass Choir, I believe) who among other things, tells us how people can be a lot like parrots–freely repeating other people’s business. I  get tickled when I hear it, but there is truth there.

Before I was saved, I could be a little “Willona-ish” (from Good Times) when it came to discussing the happenings of people’s lives. The intent wasn’t malicious, just something to talk about, dissect, and share my “expert opinion” on the matter at hand.

This behavior continued after I got saved….more of a bad habit, I suppose. Then one time I shared something rather personal/serious in confidence with “Thelma” who went back told their family. Mayhap that wouldn’t have been so bad, if Family was offering sound wisdom, but Thelma came back to tell me Family laughed about it. May sound petty to you all, but I was SO hurt that someone would repeat and reduce my concerns to others so casually.

Say what?
Another time, I was involved in a sensitive situation where “JJ” had to get involved. JJ promptly started spreading the news and it got back to me. I politely confronted JJ, letting them know it really wasn’t right getting others involved in a matter intended to stay between selected persons. JJ was VERY apologetic–and it wasn’t done to be mean; just habitual, but hurtful behavior.  With God’s grace, I forgave Thelma and JJ and we’re cool.  I have to say I felt really hurt, embarrassed and betrayed. Through that pain, God showed me how awful it is to idly parrot and betray confidences AND that my idle chatter were NOT Christ-like at ALL! Thankfully,with His help that behavior soon ceased in Jesus name!

In the days since those times, God guides me on who I should talk to about certain things. Luke 2:16-19 tells us the people wondered about what the shepherds told Mary, but she “kept all these things and pondered things in her heart”. There is a valid reason she didn’t share that information with everybody! God also blessed me to be a confidant. People come to me with sensitive information and private challenges, knowing that with the grace of God, I will offer wise council, pray and keep the matter between us. Period.

People have also come to me with other’s business, I have to shut that down with a swift retort like, “I will keep the situation/persons in prayer”, “that’s not my battle to fight–only God can work that out”, or “have you been praying for them?” Talking about someone is not as effective as praying for them. I’m not saying that we can’t talk through someone’s situation to understand things better or help that individual in crisis—we just need to be sensitive to how the Holy Ghost is telling us to handle it so we’re truly walking in the Spirit, rather than the flesh.

Bottom line?  The Bible says we will give an account for every idle word spoken (Matthew 12:36). With God’s help, I’m working to make sure my spiritual balance sheet will indeed crossfoot on both sides. ~Debiting un-Christlike behavior (such as gossip and backbiting) is a credit to allowing God’s Holy Spirit to work.~

God bless you all!

Blen

Parrot Pic: http://www.squidoo.com/parrottalking

Willona Woods pic: http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&biw=1180&bih=514&gbv=2&
tbm=isch&sa=1&q=willona+woods+talking&

BlenCouragesU4 Comments

Table for….one

A perfect ending for a solo dinner
Hi everyone!

I mentioned in a previous post I’m reading a book called “The Young Lady in Waiting” (Kendall & Jones, 2008), that gives a biblical perspective and encouragement to those in God’s waiting room. A question was posed to a woman who was single after ten years out of college: “what helps you to be so satisfied as a single woman?” She responded, ” a full place setting”. What?!!

Evidently, this woman had real china, crystal and silverware she had
been saving for “him” while eating off paper plates. She said the Lord showed her she didn’t have to wait for the mate to bring beauty into her world, so she began eating off the china and drinking out of that fine crystal. A while later, she unknowingly sat in front of her future in-laws at church, met their son and eventually got married. While she now has someone to share the china with, her satisfaction didn’t come from the hubby– it was already there through Christ.

I thought that was a great story…it got me to thinking what keeps me satisfied. Of course, being saved and complete in Christ tops the chart. Additionally though, I think a better healthier perspective on this season keeps me. Although I am a card-carrying member of the “couch potato club”, I do like to travel when I can–locally as well as in the United States.

While traveling with someone is fun, I can’t be waiting around for “him” to take me! So I took a couple of trips last month for fun and enjoyed it! I even got some folks to take some pics of me to commemorate the occasion. I even (gulp)… dined in restaurants…..alone! Yes, it was a little weird for a minute, but I relaxed and enjoyed it. It helps develop your social skills, opens you up to meet new people, learn other things, witness for Christ and perhaps bless someone else. And, like the lady in the story, you could meet your mate!

So, I ask you, what keeps you satisfied as a single? And if you aren’t there yet (that’s ok— sometimes it’s a process) what could you start doing with God’s help to get there?

Kendall, Jackie & Jones, Debby. (2008). The Young Lady in Waiting: Developing the Heart of a Princess. ISBN 076842657X.

BlenCouragesU4 Comments

Growing up….

I'm a big(ger) kid now...

Hi all,

Remember when you were a kid and your parent’s friends remarked how big you were getting and the excitement you felt about growing up? I feel the same way about growing up spiritually!
Today’s growth-spurt moment about ridding yourself of poor self-esteem. While it’s not a pleasant or willing topic of discussion, I will admit it’s been an issue with me (and many other women) at one time or another, but I know God has delivered me and can do the same for you!

In the aftermath of failed relationships, broken hearts, and the single life, the enemy can sometimes mess with your head and have you questioning what’s wrong with you. We look at other women– skinnier, prettier, better hair, more talented, successful, et cetera and so on. Eventually, these thoughts can take root and grow into weeds of negativity, sadness, bitterness, anger and depression. This “stinkin’ thinkin'” can drive others away from you, hold up your blessings, and get you to sin against God by constant murmuring and complaining. Any witnesses in the house?

A dear friend and I went shopping a bit ago and in the dressing room, I was subjected to the nefarious three-way mirror (yep–I wasn’t happy with the image at all). As I lamented about the unflattering frocks, she went and found me a couple of dresses that really complimented my skin tone and “non-size 2” body-type. She then proceeded to sincerely tell me how beautiful I looked and for the first time in a LONG time, I believed it. A few days later, a woman I were chatting at the hairdresser and she complemented me on my eyes. I usually just notice how tired they look! But at a closer glance, I could see God’s handiwork. As I’m typing, the Lord just reminded me a young brother mentioned how much he enjoyed my Sunday School class a few weeks back. Last week, someone mentioned a note of encouragement they kept that I wrote them two years ago! Wow–I’m not so bad after all! 🙂

Mind you, I don’t say this in a spirit of ego, conceit or to get glory in any way–rather, God be glorified because He showed me I have nothing to hang my head about. Yes, my self-esteem took a big ol’ whupping–I just kept rewinding the “what’s-wrong-with-me” track. But Paul’s advises us that whatsoever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtue and praise to think on THOSE things (Philippians 4:8). David also reminded me to praise God– for I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14 a).

While God has not called us to be all about ourselves, I do believe we should give Him thanks for how He made us! Yes, there might be a little extra meat on the bones, but go on and appropriately dress up that temple–work with what you have! Give thanks to God for the use and activity of our bodies, the ability to think/reason, and the talents/gifts He’s blessed us with— and use ALL of that to His glory with NO shame! We don’t need to hang out at home in fuzzy slippers and a carton of Ben and Jerry’s every weekend! We can go out with the girls and have a wonderful, wholesome time in the Lord! We can go to visit the sick, feed the homeless, babysit for a single mom, help someone shop, volunteer at a hospital, cook for a family–the possibilities are endless.

If we are busy for Christ, we have less idle time to entertain those negative thoughts. Another benefit is that we are possibly being prepared for the person God has in store for us, if it is His will. Think about it– was Ruth picking out her flaws, all long-faced and waiting idly for Boaz to come by? I should say not! Boaz noticed her working hard to take care of mother-in-law (Ruth 2:11) and eventually married her.

Bottom line? We all have things we don’t like about ourselves…myself included! Some we can change, other things we can’t. Let’s ask God to help us make peace with the permanent, bless us to work on the alterable and do what He called us to do in the process–I’m thinking we will be blessed in more ways than one!

Please share your thoughts….

~Blen

BlenCouragesU2 Comments

YES, I’m READY! I think…

Hi ladies!

Again, I’m delighted at the responses posted here…thanks and please keep it up!

This week’s topic deals takes a little from some of the previous posts. Are you ready for God to bless you with a mate? Really ready? If so, how do you know? What about you, Blen, you ask? Ok, I’ll share my thoughts.

I believe I’m ready, for the most part. My hesitation is similar to Tamisha’s statement about God still working some things out in me. The thing is, I’m not sure if they need to be worked out before, or will be during the process of meeting whomever is God’s will for me.

I think I mentioned that although I can cook and do when I want, I don’t always do it…I’m cool with Lean Cuisine, General Mills and 1-800-Callpizza! This sounds trivial, but if dude is looking for meals everyday like in the movie “Soul Food”, we have issues out of the gate! 🙂

Same thing goes for spending money, while the Lord blesses me to be good steward most of the time (I should say He gives me the ability to be a good steward all the time, I just don’t always listen), I’m not sure I’m ok with my hubby “controlling” my spending. I was watching Wheel of Fortune during couples week, and as they amassed the cash, I thought, “would I really want to share $50 grand?” Not that I’d blow it, I just don’t want to be told how it should be spent. These may sound like small “get over it, Blen” issues, but the Bible says the little foxes spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15).

I’m thinking because I’m older and more mature, I’d try to compromise on things, but that may take a miracle. In addition to praying about this, is there a way to prepare for these possible issues? Maybe love will just conquer all? Is anybody else “wrasseling” with similar thoughts?

Talk to us!

~Blen

BlenCouragesU14 Comments

Thank you

Hi everyone,

I just want to thank you all SO much for the support, comments and feedback on your blog. Yes, it’s YOUR blog, I’m just the facilitator! :0D I am looking forward to more topic discussion, encouragement and blessings for all of you as we walk in this season triumphantly! May God bless you all in Jesus’ name!

Love,

~Blen

BlenCouragesULeave a comment