Biblical Confrontation: Navigating Offenses According to God’s Word

Here there BCU Family!

I typically record our content in an informal “podcast on the go” format. Many times, the Lord gives me subject matter as I am driving or waiting, so I record on the spot! You can access the podcast here, or click on the avatar below, as you refer to the show notes below for the highlights. We pray the podcast blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the podcast!

Podcast highlights:

  • Effective communication and confrontation is an essential part of our walk with Christ.
  • Confrontation is biblical—but it has to be done according to God’s directions.
  • The Lord presented me with a situation where I had to have a difficult conversation with a person of authority.
  • God has a way of things working out—if we do things His way, even when our flesh thinks it knows better.

KJV Scripture References

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Matthew 18:7;15-17

7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

James 3:2

 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

Matthew 5:23-24

23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

BCUFam, it’s important for us to follow God’s directions when it comes to offenses. What I am seeing among some of the people of God is speculation, accusations, and cancellations—-before a conversation is had with the accused. Unaddressed offenses often turn into bitterness, anger, wrath, clamor and evil speaking against the offender. While we do not minimize the hurt the person caused (which is why we go to them in the first place), the Word also says to be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (See Ephesians 4:31-32). When God puts it that way, it’s time to let these offenses GO! Amen? Amen! Let’s pray!

Father, in the name of Jesus, as always, we thank You for what You have spoken to our hearts. Jesus, please help us to prayerfully examine our hearts for any bitterness, lack of forgiveness, anger or distance in between us and the people in our lives. We pray that hurt feelings, broken hearts and tattered relationships will be healed, and that you will help us to forgive others like You have forgiven us.

Help us to approach anyone we need to according to the directions You have outlined, without fear or worry about the outcome. If our brother/sister chooses to receive us and be reconciled, we thank You, Jesus and if they do not, we STILL say thank You, Jesus knowing we followed Your will and way, and we can stand before You in peace.

Going forward, Jesus, we ask that You help us to manage all the relationships and interactions we have with people so that You are honored and glorified! It is in the name of Jesus Christ, we pray, and thank You, Amen!

As a reminder, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, X, and Instagram. Also, if you so inclined, join us Thursday nights––we are LIVE on YouTube 8:05EST/7:05CST. You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Apple podcasts, Pandora, and Spotify!

Thank you SO much for stopping by! God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

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Fill-in-the-blank..or not.

Hey there BCU Fam!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording (click here or on the BCU avatar below) and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:

  • A common theme the Lord has put on my mind and in my teaching is forgiveness, biblical confrontation and reconciliation.
  • At some point in all relationships, we will either be offended or offend someone–the key is handling it God’s way.
  • Someone dear to me very gently confronted me about an important date I missed.
  • Let’s talk about how the Lord used the situation to be a blessing to the both of us.

Scripture references

Matthew 18:7,15.

7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

James 3:2

2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

Proverbs 3:6

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Ephesians 4:31-32

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Matthew 18:21-35

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.

24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.

32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

When our expectations are not met, we tend to “fill in the blanks” with the wrong answers. @blencouragesu

BCU Fam, when we allow the fill-in-the-blank spirit to reign, we continue walking in offense where the anger, animosity, bitterness and wrath replays in our hearts and minds. Eventually our evil-thinking of the person leads to evil-speaking about the individual to others–and in actuality, whether in our hearts or to someone else, incorrect blank-filling or evil-speaking is a direct violation of the Word of God (See Ephesians 4:31-32).

“We should strive for forgiveness being automatic in our hearts” –SuperFriend

With the help of the Lord, my Super Friend was a perfect example of following the Word of God by praying about the situation, reaching out quickly, gently confronting me, all while thinking AND speaking in love (You forgot–I know this isn’t like you), followed by immediate forgiveness! As we were ending our conversation, Super Friend said, “building true relationships eliminates the fill-in-the-blank spirit”, and that is spot on, BCU Fam. When we do things God’s way, there are no blanks to fill in–He tells us exactly what to do and once we do, He will instruct us as to how to handle the situation so the results will be perfect, because God is perfect. Amen? Amen!

As a reminder, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Also, if you so inclined, join us Thursday nights––we are LIVE on YouTube 8:05EST/7:05CST. You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple Podcasts.

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

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Offending and offended

Hey there BCU Fam!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording (click here or on the BCU avatar below) and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:
  • A common theme the Lord has put on my mind and in my teaching is forgiveness, biblical confrontation and reconciliation.
  • At some point in all relationships, we will either be offended or offend someone–the key is handling it God’s way.
  • I recently dealt with a “perceived” offense that reminded me of a perceived offense from many years ago.
  • Let’s talk about how the Lord helped me work through both situations.

Scripture references

Matthew 18:7,15.

7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

James 3:2

2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

Proverbs 3:6

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Matthew 5:23-24

23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

James 1:19

19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

I John 4:20

20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

Rather than stew in the situation or “fill in the blanks”, I was led to go the person and ask what happened.

BCU Fam, since we know that offenses are part of our relationships and our walk with Christ, it’s important for is to handle them biblically. If not, our pride will keep us offended, angry, accusing, bitter and hateful–and none of these are attributes of God. Moreover, we jeopardize our relationship with God and our place in Heaven. No offense on earth is worth keeping us away from Jesus, right? Let’s ask God to search our hearts to see if there is any situation where we need to forgive and/or confront the person. Once we do, He will instruct us as to how to handle the situation so the results will be perfect, because God is perfect. Amen? Amen!

As a reminder, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Also, if you so inclined, join us Thursday nights––we are LIVE on YouTube 8:05EST/7:05CST. You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple Podcasts.

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

BlenCouragesULeave a comment

Just before the confrontation…

Here there BCU Family!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the informal format, please tune into the podcast recording and refer to the written post for the highlights. We pray the post blesses and encourages you. If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

Podcast highlights:

  • Confrontation is a part of life —whether we are in the giving or the receiving end of the conversation.
  • In the time leading up to the conversation, it’s IMPERATIVE to guard your mind against negative, accusing thoughts about the person/situation with the help of the Lord. Otherwise, we build up a case based on emotion–and emotions lead to comments, tones and attitudes that are counterproductive and destructive to the relationship.
  • If we go into the conversation prayerfully, with forgiveness, humility and the heart to resolve the situation, that will typically disarm the individual, thus fostering an environment of understanding and healing.

Scripture references:

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord (Isaiah 54:17).

But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? (James 2:20).

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression (Proverbs 19:11).

I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).

Charity [love] suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; (I Corinthians 13:4-5).

Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it (1 Peter 3:11).

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God (Matthew 5:9).

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8).

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee (Isaiah 26:3).

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

So what are your thoughts on our topic-du-jour? What goes on in your mind when you’ve been offended and need to confront someone? Do you stick with the facts, or does the conversation take a emotional/personal turn? Please head to the comments section below and let’s chat some more!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , and Instagram! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by! God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

BlenCouragesULeave a comment

Confronting the spirit of fear.

Hey there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the post blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy your study!

 

I “wrassled” with something awhile back and I thought I’d share  with you all, in case you have a similar situation. If not, take it on credit.

I had an acquaintance we’ll call “Jamie” (name changed), who I TOTALLY thank God for. The thing with Jaime? They have a penchant for being very talkative to the point where 1) you can’t get a word in edgewise 2) the conversations are not always fruitful (sometimes laced with complaints and backbiting) and 3) “mindless chatter”, all of which I have a low tolerance for (yes, I pray even now that God help me with this). Now to Jamie’s defense, they are very nice and will share the last Ring Ding with you, but listen, is a Ring Ding worth all of that conversation?!

While I would fraternize with Jamie when I needed to, it’s not something I wanted to do. In fact, I tried to avoid Jamie at as much as possible, fearing I’ll get into a long conversation, or say something (nicely, of course) that will hurt the über-sensitive feelings of this individual and lose my Christian witness.  Jamie was the type of person who you could say something to in the nicest way possible, but would still be hurt. I was in a tough place.

So one day, Jamie left me a message –apparently it was question that only I could answer. In a matter of seconds, my attitude changed from happy to irritation and anger because there was no way to avoid talking to this person. My mind raced wildly–what now? Didn’t I take care of that other situation we had last week? Is this question going to lead to a verbal bashing of a friend? Should I schedule our conversation in between appointments—that way I could limit my time talking? Then, I started practice responses to possible questions that could come up—-RARRRRRRRR!! (arms flailing).

While I was ranting in my car, the Lord invited me to talk to Him about it. Rather than let anxiety take over, as Philippians 4:6 reminded me, it was better that I make my requests known before God in prayer, supplication and with thanksgiving, so that God’s peace would keep my heart and mind.

In talking this through with God, the bottom line was FEAR! I was letting FEAR make me crazy before I even knew what the situation was. Also, I was running (related to fear) from this thing like it was a six-foot bear, when with God on my side, this situation was a plastic poodle! On top of it, I was tired of being afraid!

As a Holy Ghost filled woman, I have Christ on my side, and whatever the conversation was, I needed to be ready to tell Jamie with seasoned speech if what was being said was not agreeing with me or I needed to get going. I also needed to quit worrying (a by- product of fear) about hurting feelings in lieu of pleasing God.  In addition, Proverbs 27:5 reminded me that open rebuke is better than secret love, AND as long as my speech was seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6), God would be pleased. In the final analysis, pleasing God is really the only thing that matters. After talking that over with Jesus, the peace that came over me was AMAZING!! I felt armed and ready to deal with Jamie or any other potentially sticky situation.

How did my Jamie story end? It turns out that a couple of emails answered Jamie’s questions (see, I didn’t even have to chat with him after all), and NOW with God’s grace and help, I’ll be better equipped to deal with a confrontation when needed with NO FEAR! Sure, tackling an unpleasant issue is uncomfortable and unnerving–but confrontation is biblical. We just have to know how to do God’s way and that starts with prayer! He will give us the words to say so the conversation will be perfect. So with have our directions from God and Holy Ghost leading us, there’s no need to be afraid–God’s got our back!

The final word on fear? II Timothy  1:7 reminds us that God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Let’s take God at His word and walk in what He says. Amen? Amen!

What are your experiences with fear? How have you handled it? Or do you let it handle you like I did? Let’s continue our conversation in the comments section below!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook,Twitter, or Instagram! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

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