7 reasons why we do not forgive.

Hey there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the podcast blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy your study!

So if you’ve been listening for any length of time, you may notice the the Lord has been bringing up forgiveness.

Quite a bit.

Forgiveness means a dismissal of a debt; letting go or a release. Our version of forgiveness usually deals with us giving out “justice”, meaning, giving people what we feel they deserve (bad treatment/punishment). In actuality, our forgiveness should be steeped in grace (giving people the good they do not deserve) and mercy NOT giving people the bad treatment/punishment they deserve.

It’s been said that lack of forgiveness is the number one sins committed among Christians—which is pretty sad and scary considering the Matthew 18:34-35, that reminds us if we don’t forgive our brother of their trespasses from the heart, we’ll be delivered over to the tormentors (see Matthew 18:23-35 for the entire Scripture in context).

Below, are 7 common reasons* that people choose to hold on to offenses. And Scriptures answers to why you should let go of the offense.

1) I’ll forgive when he/she apologizes. See Matthew 5:23-24.

Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

Sometimes we need to initiate the conversation to accelerate the forgiveness process.

2) I’ll forgive when they PROVE they changed. | See Matthew 18:23-27

Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.

 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

Notice that in order to be forgiven, the king did not require any proof of change. He simply forgave his servant. Grace and mercy in action.

3) I’ll forgive her, but I won’t forget what she did. | See Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Typically, whatever the offender did was something that has hurt us, makes us angry, disappointed, etc.  If we keep “replaying” in our minds what the offender did, we are in direct violation of what God says we should be thinking about. Forgiving the person will release you of the hurt and allow you to think on the positive things Paul talks about.

4) He does not have to worry about me,  he is out of my life forever. | See Matthew 18:32-35; I John 3:15 

32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

Bottom line? If we don’t forgive, we will NOT make it into Heaven. Period.

5) She needs to come to me FIRST. It wasn’t my fault. See 1 John 2:16; Proverbs 16:18; Matthew 5:23-25.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

That statement is steeped in pride, which goes before destruction. Once again, we may need to initiate the conversation in order to facilitate the forgiveness.

6) I forgave him, but were not speaking. |See 1 John 2:16; Proverbs 16:18; Matthew 5:23-25

Pride rears it’s ugly head again. See the Scriptures for reason number 5.

7) If I forgive her, I’m a punk, admitting wrong, letting her off the hook. |See Matthew 5:7.

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. 

Mercy is NOT giving someone the bad/punishment they deserve.

Forgiving is SERIOUS business. How many of these reasons have you used to justify not forgiving people? What are you thoughts about forgiving? Please head down to the comments section to share your thoughts so we can continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter,  and Instagram,  You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

*Reasons were adapted from https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/the-real-reason-we-don-t-forgive.html. Updated and Scripture-referenced by BlenCouragesU.

Continue reading “7 reasons why we do not forgive.”

Let God arise (and His enemies be scattered)!

Hey there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the post blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post! 

For the past few posts, we’ve been talking about betrayal, confrontation, offenses and forgiveness. Part of the conversations we’ve been having were our responses around being confronted or confronting someone–many of us will “fight” (defend yourself verbally) or take flight (shut down or run away). Let’s talk about the latter in terms of trials.

In this life, we will have troubles–Jesus let us know that (John 16:33). He also let us know that He will be with us through every minute of the trouble all according to His perfect will (See Hebrews 13:5).  And part of that perfect will is to help drive us straight to Jesus to pray for guidance, comfort, strength, lessons and sometimes, to remove the source of the trouble. The issue is, when a trial comes that gets progressively difficult  or stays too long (in our minds anyway), rather than go to Christ, many of us run away from God and opt to leaning to our own understanding on how to move the situation along ourselves.

Big mistake.

We really should be running TOWARD God and His Word for how to handle the situation. Here’s my story:

My middle and junior high years was a time I was trying to figure myself out—I was a MESS! Thanks to someone’s prayers, I got it together (well, as much as I could with God’s grace), and was excited to start high school afresh.

Until I got there.

There was a group of four or five girls, a couple of then I knew the neighborhood, along with some upperclassmen, who took great pleasure in verbally bullying me whenever they got the chance. While I don’t recall all of the horrible incidents they inflicted, one in particular stands out to me.

To get to one of my assigned classes, I had to pass down a hallway past this particular classroom–the teacher left the door open for some reason.  Every time I passed that classroom, a few of the bully-girls would see me and yell out the most hurtful, ugly,  vile things to me–in the hearing of their classmates and anyone in the hallway with me at the time.  I don’t know what hurt worse–the remarks, or the embarrassment I felt being the target of their cruelty while others looked on. I’m sure I tried every possible way to get past them, avoid, ignore or even go down that hallway late, but somehow, they seemed to know when I was coming and made sure I had my daily tormenting.

Somehow, the Lord gave me the presence of mind to go to Him for the situation and in doing that, He gave me Psalm 3. Please read this powerful passage of Scripture aloud.

1 Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me.

2 Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah.

3 But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

4 I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.

5 I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me.

6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about.

7 Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.

8 Salvation belongeth unto the Lord: thy blessing is upon thy people. Selah.

BCU Fam, I was unsaved at that time, but that word gave me hope. I read it everyday before school and even had it memorized. Then one day, the jeers slowed down. After a while, I noticed the remarks stopped coming from that classroom.  As more time progressed, I noticed that I had not seen the biggest bullies around school at all. Turned out that they ended up leaving the school.  To this day, I don’t know why.

What I do know? God took care of it.

And if He took care of it for me, He can do it for you.

I encourage you all to go God with every care (1 Peter 5:7), concern, issue, thought—all the “bullies” that are tormenting you. Give them all to Jesus and leave them there without going to check on the bullies. Know that God wants to and is willing to take care of your situation according to His will, His way and in His timing. Amen? Amen.

What are your thoughts about the Psalm? Have a bullying story you’d like to share? Are you encouraged by the Word? Please leave us your a comment in the section below and continue out conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

Meditate on these things… 

Hey there BCU Fam!

BlenCouragesU is excited to bring you our first guest blog post, in the person of Kristie Ward! In addition to being an advocate of children, Kristie is a wife, mom and beautiful woman of God. Read and be blessed!

Spirituality

There are a growing number of Americans in search of spirituality and enlightenment. The search has extended beyond traditional American belief systems. People are fully embracing spiritual practices from all over the world in daily life. Yoga studios have opened up in almost every city and the practice of yoga and meditation is often a regular part of physical education classes beginning in elementary school. The trouble is, we have invited practices into our lives without a full understanding of what it involves and how it is practiced in its eastern origin. Traditional yoga directly contradicts with biblical spirituality.

As a Christian, being “spiritual” is having and walking in the Spirit of Christ on a daily basis. It’s not a temporary fix or a way to channel your positive energy. It’s not a means to have a glowing aura or a connection with the other side. Eastern religions teach that salvation is found within man but man is not a deity unto himself. Man is finite, fragile and he fails himself. The human condition is sin and only a just God was/is able to erase the sting of it.

But.. I’m not practicing Hinduism

Yoga itself is not a religion. It is a religious practice credited to Hinduism, meaning, ‘to yoke or be joined with the divine’. How does one become joined with divinity? Well, yoga teaches meditation and breathing techniques to calm the body and relax the mind, which can include chanting and incense. It sends the body into a different state of mind. This is a state of mind that does not honor God, but instead teaches people that they have divinity within themselves naturally and with that they can gain power and control.

In opposition, Christianity is a humbling faith. It teaches lowliness and an awareness inherent weakness; the affinity to sin. One true God teaches us the right way to go. One source of truth shows us right from wrong. It teaches us that there is only one true Spirit and that is God himself. He has given the bible as not only a love letter, but a guidebook for life and life eternal. We are all made to worship but who we worship defines whether we are alive or dead, quickened or still, powerful or weak. God has proven himself to be omnipotent through the simple act of faith, not through bodily exercise (1 Timothy 4:8) or vain repetitions (Matthew 6:7).

The act of meditation is as simple as Phillippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. The world is a cloud of religions, confusion and seared consciences. Let’s be bible believers and Christians who walk in the Spirit. Be careful! Everything new and different isn’t always biblical and everything claiming to be spiritual doesn’t have THE SPIRIT OF GOD in it.

 

Kristie Ward is a Christian social worker, freelance writer for HelpGrowCT and Co-owner of Ward Advocacy, LLC.

So many wonderful things….

Please read on!🎄

Hey family!

I am interrupting the salt series in the spirit of Christmas! I thought I’d re-share a written excerpt from a scene in a play that the youth of Meriden Bible Way (Meriden, CT) wrote and put on for Christmas a few years ago. This was the “sermon” part of the play. Enjoy!

“You see church, some folk saw Jesus, just as a prophet or teacher
Abba, Rabbi, and a good preacher.

But got the that really know His Holy pages, we know:
To the geologist He is the Rock of Ages.
To the Doctor, He is the Great Physician
To the Carpenter, He is the Master Builder.
And any foundation, needs a Chief Cornerstone.
A Lawyer, you never need one, cause we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous—HALLELUJAH!
To the Astronomer, He is the Bright and Morning Star,
To the Botanist, He is the…

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