Relationships and the spirit of infirmity

Hey there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the podcast blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy your study!

Many years ago, while talking about relationships, a good friend of mine, Sara said:

…one thing you DO NOT want to do is get into a relationship with low self-esteem. You will begin to question your boyfriend/husband’s faithfulness, his truthfulness [about being beautiful], and your negative thoughts become power and that power consumes you making you feel like the ugliest being on the planet and that makes you feel alone even when you are coupled.”

WOW!!!!! POWERFUL statement, right? You know, it’s my opinion that as children of God, while many of us are Holy-Ghost filled, we may not be whole in certain areas. Allow me to explain in the following story, shared with permission, *names changed and details to protect the identity of the couple.

*Lea was friends with *Mike for a few years before they decided they liked each other. Lea was saved, in school, working and loving life. Mike was also saved, educated, hard-working guy. They dated for awhile–all giddy with excitement about marriage, kids and maybe even a dog :-). But, they didn’t make it. And it wasn’t all HIS fault.

While Lea was Holy-Ghost filled, she was NOT healed from the hurts from her past relationships– that manifested itself in various ways. For example, Lea had ZERO interest in sports, but would “muster up” excitement while watching ESPN with Mike. Hey, she hadn’t had a date in years and didn’t want to mess this up. When Mike cancelled their dates at the last minute for frivolous reasons, Lea was upset, but rather than talk about it, she pretended she was ok. After all, she didn’t want to seem like a nag and wanted to prove she was Christ-like and able to forgive. She even lied to him about how far she went with past boyfriends so he’d stay interested in her. In short, Lea’s self-esteem was so low, she felt she had to be a certain way in order to keep him around and interested. It was tiring for Lea to keep pretending, but it was the only way she knew to operate so he’d stick around. Eventually one thing led to another as the truth, motives, accusations and distrust came in and the relationship ended.

Lea, (like many other women–and men, too) was so battle-weary from past rejections, hurts, self-doubt, watching friends get boyfriends/married, etc., that when this guy came along, she allowed the whispers of doubt and fear from the enemy to control her thoughts and actions. This is where she needed to allow the Lord to come in and heal her heart.

This reminds me of the woman with the spirit of infirmity found in Luke 13:11-13.

11 And, behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself.

12 And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.

13 And he laid his hands on her: and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God.

For Lea, every rejection, negative comment, the tormenting voices–all that pain began to pile up and weigh her down to a point where she could not lift herself up, like many of us. But just as Jesus saw and called the woman to be loosed from her infirmity, He is calling to us to be healed as well!

Facing up to the things that hurt us is difficult and painful. But so is carrying it around! Jesus NEVER intended for us to be burdened down with pain at all! In fact, Matthew 11:28-30 says,

28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Jesus is calling to us to be made whole in all the areas of our lives, for His glory foremost, and especially if we want to attract whole people! And this goes for all relationships–not just potential mates. Think about how Jesus wants to us exchange our burdens for His light yoke, our heavy for His light, our pain for His healing. It’s an uneven exchange that works for our benefit. All we have to do is take it to Jesus and leave it there. That’s it!

What about you? Are you bowed down with emotional pain, mental torment, decisions you made in the past that you have to face everyday? Today, ask God in faith to lift you up from all areas you are bowed down in, bless you to be confident through Him, and replace the areas of fear with His perfect love (I John 4:18). Take comfort in knowing that it is His pleasure to heal you and then walk upright and see the “whole” bright future God has for you! How do I know any of this is true? God has done these same things for me!

What has your Luke 13 or Matthew 11 experience been? What’s resonated with you in the post? Please leave us a comment in the section below the post, so we can continue our conversation.

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook,Twitter, Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

Single on Valentine’s Day? Stop here!

Hey there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the podcast blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy your study!

So singles, it’s that time of year again where everything is hearts, flowers, candy and couples. Depending on where you are in your single comfort zone, this “holiday” can either be depressing (who wants that?) or a blessing (I’m thinking yes on this)!

Let’s start off by listing (in random order) some things you CAN do as a single on Valentine’s Day:

  1. Treat yourself to a pedicure, manicure, facial or massage!

  2. Order really good take out from your favorite restaurant or a place you’ve wanted to try. Short on cash? Make it lunch, a fancy coffee drink, or a yummy dessert.

  3. Try a making a new recipe. Share it with a single friend.

  4. *After checking your budget, buy yourself something nice. Maybe a scarf, hat, smell-good or bath salt or a notebook, scrapbook, a new Bible, or a  good book to read.

  5. Invest the money you’d spend on a gift for yourself and buy a few shares of stock (this is a long term investment–expects ups and downs).

  6. Do that research on something you’ve been meaning/wanting to do, learn or try. YouTube has thousands of videos for the dormant do-it-yourselfer in all of us.

  7. Start a blog.

  8. Start following a blog. (Bloggers LOVE followers–especially those who comment (hint, hint).

  9. I love podcasts because I can listen while cleaning, shopping or commuting. Search out a podcaster that will challenge you, support cranium expansion or encourage your heart.

  10. Babysit for a single/couple who may want to go out, or just need a break.

  11. Take the day off and do a whole lot of NOTHING!

  12. Binge watch your favorite YouTubers, classic TV shows or catch-up on blog subscriptions.

  13. Travel/take a day trip. Yes, alone.

  14. Visit the hospital/or provide eldercare relieve a care-giver.

  15. Spend the time in prayer, intercession for other couples/singles and reflection.

  16. Make a list of all the things that God has done for you.

  17. Have kiddos? Make it a family game/movie evening at home. Or invite other singles with kids to go to a Dave and Buster’s or a Monkey Joe’s. (you’re likely to have the place to yourselves).

  18. Have a dinner-party with some of your single friends.

  19. Catch-up with a childhood friend/family member via telephone, Skype/Facetime or in person.

  20. Be a blessing to someone else. Buy someone else a coffee, dinner, groceries or flowers. Seek God on how to be a blessing to someone else.

*As a disclaimer, I know that material things don’t bring you happiness or help with the loneliness, heartache, and occasional pain of not having a loved one–I get that. Only Christ’s perfect love can ease the pain of a lonely heart. In order for that to happen, we need to ask Him to help us as we yield to contentment in this season of our lives. In fact,  Paul told the Philippians “…for I have learned, in whatever state I am in to be content” (Philippians  4:11). Now being content can be a process and that process sometimes takes more time than it should, in part, because we don’t want to do things God’s way–which means we may need to wait. A long time. A long, long time. Waiting doesn’t mean being idle or waiting to start to do something until “the one” comes by.

The single season is a good time to get with the Lord to get clarity on our gifts, talents, assignments and tasks—and get more/productive with what God has called us to do. Working on what God has for you keeps you satiated and kills that loneliness, heartache and pain, thereby getting you to that place of contentment Paul speaks of.  Ask me how I know. 🙂

Single BCU Family, even as you are walking in your purpose, there will be days/times where a pang of loneliness comes up–that’s normal and a sign to go into prayer for more grace, and if need be, talk to a trusted friend, your pastor or you can always leave a comment or email me at Blen@BlenCouragesU.com and with God’s help, we’ll get through the tough time together! Before you know it, the spouse God promised you (if He has done so), will appear and you’ll be settled into who you are in Christ, along with being whole and complete and content. This makes for attracting a whole, complete and content individual, whom you can walk out the rest of your lives in doing God’s will AND be ready for Jesus when He comes back for us! This single season is not in vain, BCU Fam! God has a perfect purpose and it’s being worked out!

Until then and even after the spouse comes, Jesus should always and forever be our first, true and best love. Period. Amen? Amen!

What are some ways YOU work through Love Day? Please drop a line in the comments section below so we can continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

Get in your single happy place..

Hey family!

It’s that time of year again where everything is hearts, flowers, candy and couples. Depending on where you are in your single comfort zone, this “holiday” can either be depressing (who wants that?) or a blessing (I’m thinking yes on this)!

You can volunteer at a shelter, rest home, soup kitchen or hang out with your single friends.  Pray for other singles and couples. Babysit or offer eldercare for a couple to be able to get some time together. You reap what you sow! Sow good seeds!!!

The perfect ending to a solo dinner!

If it’s possible, get some good takeout, make a decadent dessert, treat yourself to a massage or buy yourself something pretty! And it doesn’t have to be expensive–personally, I love a great scarf, hat, or any smell-good perfume or bath salt. Of course, if you can squeeze in a pair of shoes, a shiny trinket or a purse–go for it! 🙂

Yes, I know that things don’t bring you happiness or help with the loneliness, heartache, and occasional pain of not having a loved one–I get that. Only Christ’s perfect love can ease the pain of a lonely heart. I am grateful though, that God has blessed me to be in my “happy single place”, and I am FINALLY living as Paul told the  Philippians “….for I have learned, in whatever state I am in to be content” (Philp. 4:11). Being content is a process, and sometimes takes awhile, in part because we don’t want to do things His way {guilty}. Eventually, though, the Lord does get His way, so it really is better for us to yield early and often to shorten the painful process. It’s also best to be about your Father’s business, yielding to His will for your life, and taking care of yourself until the Lord blesses you with a mate, rather than wistfully wishing someone brought you flowers. Hence the suggestions for being busy, or getting your own gift.

Bottom line: When God is ready to reveal my intended to his missing rib (me), with God’s grace, I’ll be ready. Until then and even after the man comes, Jesus will always and forever be my first, true and best love. Period.

God bless you always!

Love you,

Blen

Heavy heart?

Time to lighten the load…

Hi all!

This post is related to a comment made by Sara on earlier this week about being whole. “…one thing you DO NOT want to do is get into a relationship with low self-esteem. You will begin to question your boyfriend/husband’s faithfulness, his truthfulness [about being beautiful,] and your negative thoughts become power and that power consumes you making you feel like the ugliest being on the planet and that makes you feel alone even when you are coupled.” WOW!!!!! POWERFUL statement, right? You know, it’s my opinion that as children of God, as we are saved and Holy-Ghost filled, we may not be whole in certain areas. Allow me to explain (yep, I have another story, shared with permission and names changed).

Lea was friends with a Mike for a few years before they decided they liked each other. Lea was saved, in school, working and loving life. Mike was also saved, educated, hard-working guy. They dated for awhile– all giddy with excitement about marriage, kids and maybe even a dog :-). But, they didn’t make it. And it wasn’t all HIS fault.

While Lea was Holy-Ghost filled, she was NOT healed from the hurts from her past relationships– that manifested itself in various ways. For example, Lea wasn’t a big sports fan, but would muster up excitement while watching ESPN with Mike. Hey, she hadn’t had a date in years and didn’t want to mess this up. When Mike cancelled dates at the last minute, Lea was upset, but rather than talk about it, she pretended she was ok. After all, she didn’t want to seem like a nag and wanted to prove she was Christ-like and able to forgive. She even lied to him about how far she went with past boyfriends so he’d stay interested in her. In short, Lea’s self-esteem was so low, she felt she had to be a certain way in order to keep him around and interested. It was tiring to Lea to keep pretending, but it was the only way she knew to operate so he’d stick around. Eventually one thing led to another, and the relationship ended.

Lea, (like many other women) was so battle-weary from past rejections, hurts, self-doubt, watching friends get boyfriends/married, etc., that when this guy came along, she allowed the whispers of doubt and fear from the enemy to control her thoughts and actions. This is where she needed to allow the Lord to come in and heal her heart.

This reminds me of the woman with the spirit of infirmity Luke 13:11-13. She had lived with this issue for eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no way lift up herself. For Lea, every rejection, negative comment, the tormenting voices–all that pain began to pile up and weigh her down to a point where she could not lift herself up, like many of us. But just as Jesus saw and called the woman to be loosed from her infirmity, He is calling to us to be healed as well!

Facing up to the things that hurt us is difficult and painful. But so is carrying it around–and now you don’t have to anymore! Jesus is calling to us to be made whole in all the areas of our lives, for His glory foremost, and especially if we want to attract whole people–this goes for all relationships–not just potential mates. Today, ask God in faith to lift you up from all areas you are bowed down in, bless you to be confident though Him, and replace the areas of fear with His perfect love (I John 4:18). Take comfort in knowing that it is His pleasure to heal you and then walk upright and see the “whole” bright future God has for you!

Love you all!

Blen