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Many years ago, while talking about relationships, a good friend of mine, Sara said:
“…one thing you DO NOT want to do is get into a relationship with low self-esteem. You will begin to question your boyfriend/husband’s faithfulness, his truthfulness [about being beautiful], and your negative thoughts become power and that power consumes you making you feel like the ugliest being on the planet and that makes you feel alone even when you are coupled.”
WOW!!!!! POWERFUL statement, right? You know, it’s my opinion that as children of God, while many of us are Holy-Ghost filled, we may not be whole in certain areas. Allow me to explain in the following story, shared with permission, *names changed and details to protect the identity of the couple.
*Lea was friends with *Mike for a few years before they decided they liked each other. Lea was saved, in school, working and loving life. Mike was also saved, educated, hard-working guy. They dated for awhile–all giddy with excitement about marriage, kids and maybe even a dog :-). But, they didn’t make it. And it wasn’t all HIS fault.
While Lea was Holy-Ghost filled, she was NOT healed from the hurts from her past relationships– that manifested itself in various ways. For example, Lea had ZERO interest in sports, but would “muster up” excitement while watching ESPN with Mike. Hey, she hadn’t had a date in years and didn’t want to mess this up. When Mike cancelled their dates at the last minute for frivolous reasons, Lea was upset, but rather than talk about it, she pretended she was ok. After all, she didn’t want to seem like a nag and wanted to prove she was Christ-like and able to forgive. She even lied to him about how far she went with past boyfriends so he’d stay interested in her. In short, Lea’s self-esteem was so low, she felt she had to be a certain way in order to keep him around and interested. It was tiring for Lea to keep pretending, but it was the only way she knew to operate so he’d stick around. Eventually one thing led to another as the truth, motives, accusations and distrust came in and the relationship ended.
Lea, (like many other women–and men, too) was so battle-weary from past rejections, hurts, self-doubt, watching friends get boyfriends/married, etc., that when this guy came along, she allowed the whispers of doubt and fear from the enemy to control her thoughts and actions. This is where she needed to allow the Lord to come in and heal her heart.
This reminds me of the woman with the spirit of infirmity found in Luke 13:11-13.
11 And, behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself.
12 And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.
13 And he laid his hands on her: and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God.
For Lea, every rejection, negative comment, the tormenting voices–all that pain began to pile up and weigh her down to a point where she could not lift herself up, like many of us. But just as Jesus saw and called the woman to be loosed from her infirmity, He is calling to us to be healed as well!
Facing up to the things that hurt us is difficult and painful. But so is carrying it around! Jesus NEVER intended for us to be burdened down with pain at all! In fact, Matthew 11:28-30 says,
28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Jesus is calling to us to be made whole in all the areas of our lives, for His glory foremost, and especially if we want to attract whole people! And this goes for all relationships–not just potential mates. Think about how Jesus wants to us exchange our burdens for His light yoke, our heavy for His light, our pain for His healing. It’s an uneven exchange that works for our benefit. All we have to do is take it to Jesus and leave it there. That’s it!
What about you? Are you bowed down with emotional pain, mental torment, decisions you made in the past that you have to face everyday? Today, ask God in faith to lift you up from all areas you are bowed down in, bless you to be confident through Him, and replace the areas of fear with His perfect love (I John 4:18). Take comfort in knowing that it is His pleasure to heal you and then walk upright and see the “whole” bright future God has for you! How do I know any of this is true? God has done these same things for me!
What has your Luke 13 or Matthew 11 experience been? What’s resonated with you in the post? Please leave us a comment in the section below the post, so we can continue our conversation.
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2 thoughts on “Relationships and the spirit of infirmity”
The healing topic is huge when it comes to relationships. I enjoyed this read! I have spoken to many who hide feelings and find out post marriage that they should have been completely open, truthful, and should have waited longer before tying the knot or just calling that person “the one”. These days, the definition of love is inside a rubber band ball. It takes a lot of work removing all of those rubberbands that can bounce back at you and hurt!! It really is ok to be healed first! It can only help you. Past hurts don’t just disappear, they have roots that have to be pulled out. Love Love Love this post.
This quote blessed me: “Past hurts don’t disappear, they have roots that need to be pulled out.” Let the church say amen!
AND that root pulling? That’s a JOB for Jesus–not for the potential mate!
To God be the glory for His work through this post and thank you for the encouraging words! It’s my desire that women (and men) everywhere take advantage of the healing and wholeness only God can give!
Love you and thanks for stopping by!