This post is related to a comment made by Sara on earlier this week about being whole. “…one thing you DO NOT want to do is get into a relationship with low self-esteem. You will begin to question your boyfriend/husband’s faithfulness, his truthfulness [about being beautiful,] and your negative thoughts become power and that power consumes you making you feel like the ugliest being on the planet and that makes you feel alone even when you are coupled.” WOW!!!!! POWERFUL statement, right? You know, it’s my opinion that as children of God, as we are saved and Holy-Ghost filled, we may not be whole in certain areas. Allow me to explain (yep, I have another story, shared with permission and names changed).
Lea was friends with a Mike for a few years before they decided they liked each other. Lea was saved, in school, working and loving life. Mike was also saved, educated, hard-working guy. They dated for awhile– all giddy with excitement about marriage, kids and maybe even a dog :-). But, they didn’t make it. And it wasn’t all HIS fault.
While Lea was Holy-Ghost filled, she was NOT healed from the hurts from her past relationships– that manifested itself in various ways. For example, Lea wasn’t a big sports fan, but would muster up excitement while watching ESPN with Mike. Hey, she hadn’t had a date in years and didn’t want to mess this up. When Mike cancelled dates at the last minute, Lea was upset, but rather than talk about it, she pretended she was ok. After all, she didn’t want to seem like a nag and wanted to prove she was Christ-like and able to forgive. She even lied to him about how far she went with past boyfriends so he’d stay interested in her. In short, Lea’s self-esteem was so low, she felt she had to be a certain way in order to keep him around and interested. It was tiring to Lea to keep pretending, but it was the only way she knew to operate so he’d stick around. Eventually one thing led to another, and the relationship ended.
Lea, (like many other women) was so battle-weary from past rejections, hurts, self-doubt, watching friends get boyfriends/married, etc., that when this guy came along, she allowed the whispers of doubt and fear from the enemy to control her thoughts and actions. This is where she needed to allow the Lord to come in and heal her heart.
This reminds me of the woman with the spirit of infirmity Luke 13:11-13. She had lived with this issue for eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no way lift up herself. For Lea, every rejection, negative comment, the tormenting voices–all that pain began to pile up and weigh her down to a point where she could not lift herself up, like many of us. But just as Jesus saw and called the woman to be loosed from her infirmity, He is calling to us to be healed as well!
Facing up to the things that hurt us is difficult and painful. But so is carrying it around–and now you don’t have to anymore! Jesus is calling to us to be made whole in all the areas of our lives, for His glory foremost, and especially if we want to attract whole people–this goes for all relationships–not just potential mates. Today, ask God in faith to lift you up from all areas you are bowed down in, bless you to be confident though Him, and replace the areas of fear with His perfect love (I John 4:18). Take comfort in knowing that it is His pleasure to heal you and then walk upright and see the “whole” bright future God has for you!
Love you all!