Singles Chalkboard: Interview with Se’Fana Samples (part 2).

Hey BCU Family!

Calling all the singles to have a seat at the front of the class! Singles, we are back with part 2 of my interview with Se’Fana Samples, founder of Singles School, who has some words of encouragement for us today!!!!  I encourage you to get a notebook and pen to take down take notes and meditate/pray on the points that resonate with you.

The lovely Se’Fana Samples

If you are married or in a committed relationship according to the Word of God, please stay with us, as you likely know someone who is single. By listening to the podcast, you’ll be able to understand the single and be able to relate to them better/differently and as THE LORD leads and guides, you will be able to minister to the singles in a meaningful way. And most of all, you can hold up ALL singles in prayer that the Lord will bless and strengthen our hearts and minds in this season. Amen? Amen!

So last time we were together,  Se’Fana was just about to brief us on the 30-day Singles Challenge–a  movement that really birthed Singles School. And if you missed the challenge the first time around, have no fear! Lord will, June 8th on Periscope at 9pm EST/8pm CST, Se’Fana plans to start another 30-day Singles Challenge! I know, it’s exciting, right?  In prep, please click on the BCU icon and listen in on some of the results of the first challenge!


Thank you for tuning in–please stay tuned for the finale, part 3  of the interview! God bless you and until the next time we’re together, #StayOnTheWall!

Something on the inside…

Happy 2012..Let the Lord work on the inside!

Hey family!

It’s been another minute! I was compelled not to let 2011 go and 2012 come without a comment! 😀

So, a little while back, I watched a show* where a young girl was this close to relaxing her curly hair because a boy liked her hair that way. Long story short, it turned out to be a misunderstanding–of course all works out well in on TV! I got thinking..

First…chica even wanting to change her natural hair for some turkey…ya’ll ALREADY know how I feel about that—-BOO! Why we go all out to change who we are to please another human–especially one that God hasn’t sent you or told you is for another post!!  My main thought is around how easy we will change for people…and not so much for God.

While we do want to pay attention our physical appearance, we need to concentrate on what’s happening on the inside. Is God pleased with how we “look”? How much effort do we put into changing for Him?
When we live for Christ, we  should willingly take on His characteristics and personality in our words, thoughts and deeds. While this isn’t “natural” for us, it’s not impossible as God will give us the mind, strength and grace to please Him with the Holy Ghost and Word as our guide.  If we allow Jesus work on the inside, the “fruit” (love, peace, joy, long-suffering, gentleness, faith, meekness, self-control and goodness, Galatians 5:22) will show up on the outside. After all, salvation does indeed beautify us (Psalm 149:4) and will “attract” others to us, as well as “repel” folk that aren’t in a place to have prime time in our lives (by the way that’s a good opportunity to pray).

As 2011 ends and 2012 begins, let us continue to ask God to bless us to beautify the inner man with His word as we continue to bless Him and be who He’s called us to be in Jesus name!

My prayers go out for you all that God’s richest blessings be with you in 2012 and beyond!



*The show was Reed Between the Lines with Tracee Ross and Malcolm-Jamal Warner. Currently, it airs on BET on Tuesdays…it also comes on at random times during the week.

“Fraidy cat” no longer!

Hey all,

No longer "scare-ded"
I “wrassled” with something recently and I thought I’d “share with the class”. Maybe someone has a similar issue..

I have an acquaintance we’ll call “Jamie” who I thank God for. Jamie has a penchant for being very talkative to the point where 1) you can’t get a word in edgewise 2) the conversations are not always fruitful (sometimes laced with complaints and backbiting) and 3) “mindless chatter”, all of which I have a low tolerance for. Jamie is very nice and will share the last Ring Ding with you, but man, is a Ring Ding worth that mouth?

While I will fraternize with Jamie when I need to, it’s not something I want to do. In fact, I try and avoid Jamie at as much as possible, fearing I’ll get into a long conversation, or say something (nicely, of course) that will hurt the uber sensitive feelings of this individual and lose my Christian witness.

So Jamie left me a message recently–apparently a question was looming that only I could answer. In a matter of seconds, my attitude changed from happy to irritation and anger because there was no way to avoid talking to this person. My mind raced wildly–what now? Didn’t I take care of a situation we had last week? Is this question going to lead to a verbal bashing of a friend? Should I schedule our conversation in between appointments—that way I could limit my time talking? Then, I started practice responses to possible questions that could come up—- RARRRRRRRR!! (arms flailing)

While I was ranting in my car, the Lord invited me to talk to Him about it. Rather than let anxiety take over, as Philippians 4:6 reminded me, it was better that I make my requests known before God in prayer, supplication and with thanksgiving, so that God’s peace would keep my heart and mind.

In talking this through with God, the bottom line was FEAR! I was letting FEAR make me crazy before I even knew what the situation was. Also, I was running (related to fear) from this thing like it was a six-foot bear, when with God on my side, it was a plastic poodle! On top of it, I was tired of being afraid!

As a Holy Ghost filled woman, I have Christ on my side, and whatever the conversation was, I needed to be ready to tell the person with seasoned speech if what was being said was not agreeing with me or I needed to get going. I also needed to quit worrying (a by- product of fear) about hurting feelings in lieu of pleasing God. The Word says, open rebuke is better than secret love, (Proverbs 27:5) and as long as my speech was seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6), God would be pleased. In the final analysis, pleasing God is really the only thing that matters. The peace that came over me was AMAZING!! I felt armed and ready to deal with Jamie or any other potentially sticky situation.

It turns out that a couple of emails answered Jamie’s questions and with God’s grace and help, I’ll be better equipped to deal with a confrontation when needed with NO FEAR! Sure, tackling an unpleasant issue is uncomfortable and unnerving. BUT if you have the Holy Ghost there’s no need to be afraid–God’s got our back!

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (II Timothy 1:7)

Be blessed and fear-free!!


Pic courtesy of:

Table for….one

A perfect ending for a solo dinner
Hi everyone!

I mentioned in a previous post I’m reading a book called “The Young Lady in Waiting” (Kendall & Jones, 2008), that gives a biblical perspective and encouragement to those in God’s waiting room. A question was posed to a woman who was single after ten years out of college: “what helps you to be so satisfied as a single woman?” She responded, ” a full place setting”. What?!!

Evidently, this woman had real china, crystal and silverware she had
been saving for “him” while eating off paper plates. She said the Lord showed her she didn’t have to wait for the mate to bring beauty into her world, so she began eating off the china and drinking out of that fine crystal. A while later, she unknowingly sat in front of her future in-laws at church, met their son and eventually got married. While she now has someone to share the china with, her satisfaction didn’t come from the hubby– it was already there through Christ.

I thought that was a great story…it got me to thinking what keeps me satisfied. Of course, being saved and complete in Christ tops the chart. Additionally though, I think a better healthier perspective on this season keeps me. Although I am a card-carrying member of the “couch potato club”, I do like to travel when I can–locally as well as in the United States.

While traveling with someone is fun, I can’t be waiting around for “him” to take me! So I took a couple of trips last month for fun and enjoyed it! I even got some folks to take some pics of me to commemorate the occasion. I even (gulp)… dined in restaurants…..alone! Yes, it was a little weird for a minute, but I relaxed and enjoyed it. It helps develop your social skills, opens you up to meet new people, learn other things, witness for Christ and perhaps bless someone else. And, like the lady in the story, you could meet your mate!

So, I ask you, what keeps you satisfied as a single? And if you aren’t there yet (that’s ok— sometimes it’s a process) what could you start doing with God’s help to get there?

Kendall, Jackie & Jones, Debby. (2008). The Young Lady in Waiting: Developing the Heart of a Princess. ISBN 076842657X.

Love on the dot com?

Click here for love(?)

Hi there ladies!

I picked up a WONDERFUL book last week entitled  The Young Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones.  This is a practical, scripturally based book of encouragement for women of ANY age who are awaiting the Lord to bless them with a husband, if that is His will. I plan to highlight some of the teachable points I received in future posts, but overall the book urged women to stop sitting around and do what God has called them to do while waiting!   One thing the book emphasized was not to go looking for a mate. We know what the Solomon said, “he that finds a wife, finds a good thing” (Proverbs 18:22 a).  So where do Internet matchmaking sites fit in?

I have a friend who confesses Christ, (yes a friend–this is not me :-)) I’ll call Lola. Lola tired of wading in the shallow in the dating pool and made a splash by hooking up with a dating site. In exchange for an ex-amount of  monthly dollars, a detailed profile and some time, she met a men that matched her personality, lifestyle, etc., and they dated for a while. Lola pretty much felt he was “the one”. Eventually the “sunshine and lollypop part” of the relationship faded, as Lola realized he wasn’t the person she thought (and he probably felt the same way).

My questions: (And I am not condemning… just trying to get an understanding and create dialogue) are we really waiting to “be found” when we sign up or even peruse Internet dating sites? Or are they “the new way” to date?

Are we trusting God to provide a husband the old-fashioned way, (a chance meeting in the grocery store aisle) or do we need to “put ourselves out there” by using these sites? Should we be “paying” for the blessings of God by signing up to “”?

What about the examples of Ruth (Ruth 2-4) and Rebekah (Genesis 24)? Yes, there was no Internet back then, but is there something to be said of how God blessed them with mates?

I have to say, as tech-nerdy as I am, I’m old-school on this subject. After a LONG time of God working on me, I believe that He will set up the divine meeting His way and in His time. It seemed that anytime I “placed” myself somewhere or went with the hopes of “him” being at the gathering, I was disappointed. The Lord finally got me to the mindset of going places to be a blessing to people, and not look for a blessing.  Easy all the time? No. But keeping my heart from unneeded heartache is worth it.

I would love to hear your thoughts….