Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!
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- The holiday season is a time of family, friends, food and fun.
- For many of us while we enjoy all of the above, we especially miss our the loved ones who have passed away around this time of year.
- Bouts of sadness are normal. It is human to miss the physical presence of a person.
- My very dear friend and sister in Christ, Jewel Taylor, shared her feelings about losing her beloved mom—and then decided to do something tangible to honor her, moving her sadness to a celebration.
Today my mom would have been 58. I miss her more than I ever have over these 23 years. When you grow up without a parent, you spend a lot of time in your imagination. I imagined what it would be like graduating with her there or getting married…
But for the past few years, especially since I had [my daughter] Rae, I imagine how she would have reacted to each of her grandchildren. That has been the hardest.
I haven’t mourned her in a long time. But today, I’ve decided to allow myself to do so. However, in the spirit of WWVD Day (What Would Veda Do? – thanks for the idea Tarah), and despite being a bit achy, I will pick one of her favorite things to do.
We loved movies. We’d watch them all day if we could. And popcorn. And potato chips lol. I imagine that we would have all piled in the bed with my kids (after shopping for them, of course) and watched movies together. So that’s what we’ll do tonight. Pile in the bed with popcorn and potato chips (I’m really going to need a dustbuster) and watch movies until we pass out. I predict that:
-[My oldest son], Richie III will wiggle & talk through the entire movie.
– [My middle child and only daughter], Raelyn will fall asleep first.
-[My baby], Ryan will be chunky and cute.
And I’ll imagine that my mom would have been smiling from ear to ear, while wrestling my hand to get into the popcorn bowl.
Rest in Power Mommy.
In loving memory of Veda Lynn Steward 11/23/1960 – 08/13/1995
BCU Family, in thinking about this post, Psalm 30:11-12 comes to mind. “Thou [God] has turned for me my mourning into dancing, Thou has put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness”. To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever. See how talking to the Lord can bless your heart in a matter of moments? He is SO wonderful!
What are your thoughts on Jewel’s idea to honor her mom? What do you do to honor those who have passed away? Please head down to the comments section to share your thoughts so we can continue our conversation!
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4 thoughts on “From sadness to celebration”
I have a cousin that’s more like a sister. She’s two years older than me and every year we reminisce about Christmas when we were small. My family would make the trip to my grandmother’s house where my cousin lived with her brother and other members of my family. We had many traditions. There were some good times, but because of severe illness, disease, abandonment, and loss, things were really painful. My grandparents are gone now. The house is dilapidated. Nothing is the same. The beauty in all of this though, is that all of the lessons we learned and memories of the good times made us who we are right now. There are things we can remember that make us smile and laugh. We can see the kind of people we’ve become and remember the investments our family made in us. We can be grateful for the plan of God and the way He made us who we are. My cousin and I laugh and giggle today about our family members who’ve gone on. I praise God that He’s blessed us so much that we still can.
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You know, you and I share some of the same memories around grandparents–it was summertime visits for my brothers and I. It’s funny, as kids, we didn’t realize the traditions and interactions we sometimes loathed and questioned–that we’d completely cherish the comfort of those memories as adults. God really knows how to give us beauty for ashes (insert happy sigh).
Amen to your comment and thank you for sharing your story.
What a great way to celebrate how much you loved her! My sister would have been 26 on Monday, and I was not quite sure how to spend the day if not in tears so I kind of just kept moving…continued to do what I always do as though the day was just like any other day. I think I will use this on the holidays. Spend time remembering her by doing the things she loved to do. Excellent!
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My good friend, Jewel shared this story with me, and it spoke to me on so many levels. A few of my loved ones have passed and I think this is a wonderful way to honor their memory.
Thank you for your comment!
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