Singles chalkboard: Haste, waste or wait.

Hey there BCU Family!

As usual, you have the option of listening to our podcast (click the BCU avatar below to listen), reading the notes or BOTH. In any case, we pray the podcast blesses you. If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy your study!

Years ago, I was talking with a lady who has gotten married for the first time in her 40’s! Like how awesome is that?! When speaking about her hubby, I expected to hear all the wonderful (ok…and maybe some trying) things that happen in a new marriage, but with a positive overall outlook. Instead, my heart wept as she recounted some troubling issues and wondered aloud about the hasty decision-making process leading up to the nuptials. Eventually the union ended up in a nasty divorce.

Don’t I know about making unwise and quick decisions! In some cases, I needed to work a little overtime to cover those decisions, but in other cases, my heart suffered as well as my “spiritual bottom” in getting chastened from the Lord.

As the Lord is blessing me to mature more in Him, I found that running ahead of God’s timing and getting  in His permissive will (versus His divine will) causes unneeded stress, heartache and suffering. David reminds us the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, (Psalms 37:23 (a) and many times those steps may lead us in a direction of waiting. In this “microwave” society we live in, even as people of God, we often veer off the ordered path in lieu of a shiny-“Mr.-Right-Now” blessing. While God does work suddenly and will guide you to some relationships, in many cases we need time to check him out to see if the “blessing” is a possible curse.

*Sister Lola met brother Mark who claimed salvation and loved to worship in the house of God, yet resorted to unholy and vile name calling when he didn’t get his way. Lola terminated the relationship. When confiding to a friend as to why she cut the relationship off, Friend said, “oh he didn’t mean it, he was just upset. HELLO?! If he’s acting like that NOW, and claims to be Holy Ghost filled, how much more can that escalate later on towards her or possible future children? Physical abuse? Thank God she rejected the unwise counsel from friend and is waiting for whoever God has for her.

What about how he treats his mom or sisters? Rachelle met Erick and it was love almost instantly. She noticed a little, no a LOT of friction between him and his sister, but who doesn’t have a little sibling rivalry, right? Turns out in a fit of anger years prior, Erick hurled an ash tray at his sister’s face, permanently scarring her and she only spoke  with him on an as needed basis.  Even with this knowledge, Rachelle continued in the relationship, only to experience years of mental and physical torment. Rachelle finally got the courage to leave Erick, and repair her brokeness through the healing blood of Jesus Christ and salvation.

Leesa’s relationship with Dean developed after a short friendship. Dean was smart, successful and loved the Lord. As they were getting to know one another, Dean lost some money when the stock market crashed. He was so upset about it, he stopped speaking to Leesa for months. This pattern continued one form or another when there were unexpected bills that came about. As they eventually ended the relationship, Dean angrily commented, “all that money I spent [on you].”

While everyone is at a different place in their spiritual walk and growth must be allowed for, there are some situations God just warns us to stay away from, as they are not His intent for us. However, we are occasionally to lured to AND stay in these relationships thinking we can “help” the person, listening to those well-meaning, but wrong family or church members, or we settling out of fear and worry that no one else will be around for a while or ever. But our God loves us SO much He truly wants to bless us with our hearts’ desires as we delight ourselves in Him (Psalms 37:4) while we wait! WHEW! What an assurance, BCU Family!

“If you go outside of the will of God to get something, you have to stay out of the will of God to keep it.”

Matthew 7:10 reminds us that we, being as evil as we are, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!  We may need to wait it out, but knowing that we’ll get God’s best is ABSOLUTELY worth it! By His grace, let’s stay in God’s divine will–and follow the steps He orders, so we are in position to get His best!

What are you thoughts about waiting? Have you ever run ahead of what God told you to do? How did it work out? Please head down to the comments section to share your thoughts so we can continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter,  and Instagram,  You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and Apple podcasts!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

*Names have been changed to protect the identities of persons involved.

Visual: What are you thinking?

Hey Family!

Take a look at the chart below. I saw it on Linked in—I’m not sure who the original author is (if anyone knows, please let me know), but this SPOKE to me!

The Word of God reminds us that we are to think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). That’s important because what we think translates into words and they effect our actions.  In fact, Proverbs 18:21 says death and life are in the power of the tongue and you will “eat the fruit of your words”. Every self-depreciating comment, negative affirmation or put-down is like eating rotten, deadly fruit. How many of us would knowingly eat harmful food? If you’ve ever had food poisoning or ANY gastrointestinal trouble after eating a particular food or at a place, you would totally avoid it! We need to incorporate this in our thought and word choices.

Additionally, the result of the rotten fruit not only effects you to the point where you feel like you cannot do anything correctly, it either draws other “flies” to you (fellow bad fruit eaters–that’s another post) and/or can drive away the folks who prefer to speak life. Moreover, it is a like a slap in the face to God, who has made us and not we ourselves (Psalms 100:3).

Bottom line: If it you are reading this, it’s not too late to repent for thinking and speaking in the negative. We all say things on the left side of the list from time to time, myself included—the thing is not to continue practicing this behavior. How different would our lives be if we spoke life into ourselves, children, co-workers, et cetera? In fact, after praying, the Lord blessed me to tell a couple of folks with God’s help, they would be a blessing to all they came in contact with. Do you know they came back with a victory report?! Thank you, Jesus!!! So it’s best to ask God to help us line up our thoughts, words and actions with His Word and enjoy the fruit of the spoken labor. Amen?! Amen!

God bless you and thank you for reading!

Blen

What are you thinking?
What are you thinking?

But….I had plans!

Hi all!

It’s FABULOUS to be back with you! This topic is dear to my heart and I pray it will bless you!

Please, Lord? I had plans....
I was catching up with a dear saved sister of mine recently and somehow we started talking about past plans that had not materialized. She was planning to get married and I was moving to another state. We laughed and lamented as we recalled the details of our grand plans in detail. She was seeing wedding dresses and name changes, while I had visions of roaming NYC and meeting people on the weekends. We both sighed in exasperation saying, “I had plans!” Have you ever said that when God said “no” or “not now”?

As saved women of God, while we know that He is the ultimate planner and His ways and thoughts are above ours, (Isaiah 55:9), sometimes there are just some things we don’t understand. Don’t get me wrong–I’m not saying that we don’t accept God’s will, but if we are honest, we will admit don’t always accept it right away and cheerfully, especially if we don’t see the reasoning. For many of us, as we actively (rather than passively) wait for the Lord to bless us with mates (if it’s God’s will), while we are in a “holding pattern”, this is a perfect time to consult with God on what you should be doing while you wait.

Use this time to “take inventory” of yourself with God. For some of us, it may be that God wants to mature us a bit. For others, we may need to focus more on Him. Mayhap we need to make sure we are complete in Christ and draw closer to Him as we pray and fast.

I also read somewhere that it’s a good idea to pay down most, if not all of your debt. After all, do you want to go into a union with thousands of dollars to pay off? And even if you have “completed” this list, God may be working on your spouse–pray for him!! In addition, this is also a good time to immerse yourself in the Word, into a ministry (usher board, visiting the sick, etc.,) take a class, study a country, learn a language, help someone with a resume, babysit for a single mom–the possibilities are many! By doing so, you are bringing glory to God, blessing someone, allowing yourself to grow, becoming a more confident and more well-rounded person, as well as spending less time consumed with the lack of spouse. In fact, doing these things may even better prepare you for who God has for you!

So ladies, let’s trade in our little ol’ plans for God’s plans! Sometimes they take patience, which doesn’t always feel good, but take comfort in knowing He has the best planned for you!


In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:6).

Love you!

Blen

*Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa23/cVitaNoble/2ndChance/D08-PleadingToGodSideview.jpg

Staying on the Path

Hi all!

I was recently talking with a lady who has gotten married for the first time in her 40’s. When speaking about her hubby, I expected to hear all the wonderful (ok…and maybe some trying) things that happen in a new marriage, but with a positive overall outlook. Instead, my heart wept as she recounted some troubling issues and wondered aloud about the hasty decision-making process leading up to the nuptials.

Don’t I know about making unwise and quick decisions! In some cases, I needed to work a little OT to cover those decisions, but in other cases, my heart suffered as well as my “spiritual bottom” in getting chastened from the Lord. 🙂

As I am maturing in Christ, I found that running ahead of God’s timing and in His permissive will causes unneeded stress, heartache and suffering. David reminds us the steps of a good [wo]man are ordered by the Lord, (Psalms 37:23 (a) and many times those steps may lead us in a direction of waiting. In this “microwave” society we live in, even as people of God, we often veer off the ordered path in lieu of a shiny-“Mr.-Right-Now” blessing. While God does work suddenly and will guide you to some relationships, in many cases we need time to check him out to see if the “blessing” is a possible curse.

A wise deacon who has been married for several years told me, “you need to observe these guys in different settings— make him mad on purpose and see now he reacts!” We chuckled about that and while we know you shouldn’t intentionally anger someone as a test, you do need to spend enough time with them to see how different emotions are expressed.

*Sister Lola met brother Mark who claimed salvation and loved to worship in the house of God, yet resorted to unholy and vile name calling when he didn’t get his way. Lola terminated the relationship. When confiding to a friend as to why she cut the relationship off, Friend said, “oh he didn’t mean it, he was just upset. HELLO?! If he’s acting like that NOW, and claims to be Holy Ghost filled, how much more can that escalate later on towards her or possible future children? Physical abuse? Thank God she rejected the unwise counsel from friend and is waiting for whoever God has for her.

What about how he treats his mom or sisters? Rachelle met Erick and it was love almost instantly. She noticed a little friction between him and his sister, but who doesn’t have a little sibling rivalry, right? Turns out in a fit of anger years prior, Erick hurled an ash tray at his sister’s face, permanently scarring her. Even with this knowledge, Rachelle continued in the relationship, only to experience years of mental and physical torment. Rachelle finally got the courage to leave Erick, and repair her brokeness through the healing blood of Jesus Christ and salvation.

Leesa’s relationship with Dean developed after a short friendship. Dean was smart, successful and loved the Lord. As they were getting to know one another, Dean lost some money when the stock market crashed. He was so upset about it, he stopped speaking to Leesa for months. This pattern continued one form or another when there were unexpected bills that came about. As they eventually ended the relationship, Dean commented “all that money I spent [on you].”

While everyone is at a different place in their spiritual walk and growth must be allowed for, there are some situations God just warns us to stay away from, as they are not His intent for us. However, we are occasionally to lured to AND stay in these relationships thinking we can “help” the person, listening to those well-meaning, but wrong family or church members, or we settling out of fear and worry that no one else will be around for a while or ever. But our God loves us SO much He truly wants to bless us with our hearts’ desires as we delight ourselves in Him (Psalms 37:4) while we wait! WHEW! What an assurance, my friends!

As Michelle said in her last post, “God will not withhold His best from [us].” By His grace, let’s stay in God’s divine will–on the path He leads us on so we are in position to get His best!

*Names have been changed to protect the identities of persons involved.