2017 lesson: Dealing with betrayal

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the conversational story, please tune into the podcast recording and refer to the written post for the highlights and corresponding Scriptures. We pray the post blesses and encourages you.  If so, please thumbs up AND leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

As many of us reflect back on 2017, I like to document what the Lord has taught me and share those lessons with all of you. This podcast reflects on a situation where I was betrayed and hurt by people whom I loved and trusted. And yes, with God’s grace, I STILL love them.

Podcast highlights:

  • Who are we REALLY putting our trust in?
  • Our flesh and/or the enemy is really behind any and all discord, as he hates unity.
  • Our flesh is designed to fail.
  • We should not put people on a level that is equal to God.
  • Offenses will come..and ANYONE we come in contact with is subject to offending us.
  • Hurt and anger are natural, normal emotions to being offended, yet we are responsible for how we react toward the persons. (Matthew 18 is an awesome Scripture reference).

Scripture references

v5 Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord.

v6 For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited.

v7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.

v8 For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.
(Jeremiah 17:5-8).

Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh! (Matthew 18:7). 

So, BCU Fam, this was a TOUGH lesson to go through, you hear me? When you get hurt by people who are close to you, it cuts much worse than when a stranger does. How do we react with the persons after the incident? Stay tuned for the part 2 of this post for what the Word of God tells us to do.

Have you ever been betrayed or hurt by a co-worker, spouse, friend or family member? How did you handle it? There’s a comment section here on the BCU site, just ripe for us to continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and iTunes!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

The repeat offender…

Hey 👋🏾 there BCU Family!

Typically, you have the option of listening to our podcast, reading the notes or both. For this post, because of the conversational format, please tune into the podcast recording and refer to the written post for the corresponding Scriptures. We pray the post blesses and encourages you.  If so, please thumbs up or leave a comment! Thank you and enjoy the post!

A while back the Lord blessed us to conclude a study on #TamingTheTongue–where we talked about how we will be offended (Matthew 18:1-7) or we will OFFEND others (James 3:2). Armed with this knowledge, we want to respond to offenses and apologize to those we offend in a spirit of love and humility.

During a conversation with a friend of mine, we talked about “repeat offenders”,  and how that type of disobedience is offensive. Moreover, not only is it offensive to the person who gave the directive or asked a behavior be stopped, but offensive to others who are actually obedient (it’s distracting and often causes more work for the compliant people–for example, getting to work on time, etc.), and most of all, practiced offending offends God. Yes, it does.

Please click below to listen in!

Scriptures to meditate on:

Woe unto the world because of the offenses! For it is needful that offenses will come, but woe to the that man who brings the offense (Matthew 18:7).

In many things, we offend all. If any man offends not in word, the same is a perfect man, and is able to also bridle the whole body (James 3:2). 

To him that knows to do good and doesn’t do it, it is sin (James 4:17). 

And Samuel said, has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than to sacrifice, and to hearken, than the fat of rams (I Samuel 15:22). 

So, BCU Fam, what’s your reaction to practiced disobedience equating to sin? What is it that you may be holding on to, in the way of repeat offending? What other thoughts do you have on this call to action?  Please scroll on down to the comments section and let’s continue our conversation!

In the meantime, if you have not subscribed to BlenCouragesU.com, please do so! It’s free and a good place to get the encouragement, inspiration and information based the Word of God! Additionally, you can also see what we are up to on Facebook, Twitter , Instagram, and  YouTube! You can also listen in and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher Radio , Google Play, and iTunes!

Thank you SO much for stopping by. God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you as you #StayOnTheWall!

Love,

BCU

#SpeechTherapy |Healing through forgiveness |(part 1)| with special guest Jewel Taylor!

Hey there BCU family!

In keeping in step with our forgiveness series, special guest co-host and my beloved sister in Christ, the ultra-amazing Jewel Taylor,  joined us on our weekly Bible study live on Periscope (Thursdays @ 8:05pm EST on channel BlenCouragesU), to talk us through how to heal through forgiving.

Jewel and fam
The amazing Jewel Taylor and her super cutie-cute munchkins!

Jewel, a beautiful, powerful woman of God, wife and undergirding to her husband, Minister Richard, and mom to two awesome children, gently leads us through the book of Jonah and challenges us to look at the story behind Jonah’s disobedience and subsequent need to forgive and be healed. Trust me–just listen in and be blessed! Jewel also provided study notes and key Scriptures as a guide for you, so feel free to print and make any other notations you’d like! Additionally, if you need the notes in a PDF format, just email us (Blen@Blencouragesu.com), and we can make it happen!

 

Click on the icon below to listen in!

Study notes

HEALING IN THE BELLY OF THE WHALE

Why the book of Jonah? God dealt with Jonah in three major areas:

His pride
His arrogance
His lack of compassion
How can we heal and forgive from our hearts as dictated in Matthew 18:35 if our hearts are full of clutter? Healing through forgiveness starts with us.


STOP RUNNING
Read: Jonah 1:1-4

Key verse: v2. But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD, and went down to Joppa; and he found a ship going to Tarshish: so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD.

What are you running from? What measures have you taken to avoid the person/people who caused you harm? What is God telling you to do and you are dragging your feet?

We must face our life situations/people in them regardless. When we stop functioning we open the door for depression, anxiety and other emotional & mental issues. We must face the situation.

Being hurt is not the sin, but living in it is.


STOP PLAYING THE TAPE & DO NO HARM

Read: Jonah 1:5-17

Key verse: v10. Then were the men exceedingly afraid, and said unto him, Why hast thou done this? For the men knew that he fled from the presence of the LORD, because he had told them.

>>Stop rehearsing what was done and do not play the victim. Do not meditate on what was done, who did it, why they did it etc.

>>How do you stop the tape? By filling your heart/mind with the things/thoughts of God. When the negative thought comes – change it.

Key verses:

Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Ephesians 5:19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

>>Sometimes we don’t want to let go of the anger because it is comfortable and we feel justified in our anger. We feel righteous – as Jonah did (see Jonah 4:2).

Key verses:

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing.

>>If you do not stop the tape – you will then lead yourself to cause harm (to someone else or to those who’ve harmed you AND continue the cycle of hurt, as Jonah endangered the men on the ship.

Key verse: Jonah 1:12 And he[Jonah] said unto them, Take me up, and cast me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest is upon you. 


BCU family, this is a true call to ACTION! With God’s grace we need to give our hurt and disappointment, no matter who it was and how deep the cut to Jesus, the Master Physician, so He can heal us completely! Will thou be made whole?

Lord will, join us next time as we go into “Healing through forgiveness” part 2, as we continue in the book of Jonah. Thank you for tuning on and may God bless you, make His face to shine upon you and until we are together again, #StayOnTheWall!

 

Love,

 

BCU

 

Speech Therapy | Forgiveness | Part 3 (final)

Hey BCU family!  As usual, you can enjoy the audio podcast (by clicking on the icon below) read the transcript notes or both! Either way, be encouraged by the Word of God and share this with a friend! God bless you!

 

 

So we talked offenders, offended and the PROPER format to take air a grievance. To the person directly >two or three witnesses>>and then the church. In that order and ONLY progress to the next level if the situation is not resolved from the previous step. We also learned that many have WRONGLY divided the Word about touching and agreeing and where two or three gathered. Jesus was speaking in terms of the proceedings of how the church would deal with the offender/offended and that as the church was carrying the resolution out according to God’s Word, whatever was binding or loosed on Earth was done in Heaven—and of course He was in the midst of these proceedings. NOW we get to Peter’s question.

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?”
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

Notice he offered up a number “7” which does have significance of completeness or finality. Jesus countered with “seventy times seven”. In addition to the number 7, the number “70” signifies ‘perfect spiritual order carried out with all spiritual power and significance’ (Bullinger, 1921, p.235). Therefore, 490, being the product of 70 x 7, signifies spiritual perfection of perfect order and completeness.

The interesting thing about this verse is that Jesus is not saying that we should forgive 490 times or simply a lot of times for that matter–we need to forgive to the point of spiritual perfection! We are required to forgive to the point were we no longer meditate on the hurt or have any anger or animosity towards the person who sinned against us. If you still talk about it with passion like it happened yesterday? You have a feeling of dread, remorse, bitterness, anger, hatred, vengeance, snide comments, retreat, murmuring, complaining to others—you have NOT forgiven the party.

Lest we think we have the all clear in this area, it’s a good idea to really examine our hearts, ask God to check your heart and to be open to the Word of God on the subject. In the last season of #SpeechTherapy (season 1),  we mentioned just like there are many containers of forgotten, old, ignored and overlooked things in our refrigerators sometimes, there are MANY things in the heart.

Jeremiah 17:9 says the heart is deceitful above ALL things and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Matthew 15:18-20(a) says, But those things which proceed OUT of the mouth comes from the HEART and they DEFILE a man, for out the heart proceeds evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things that defile a man. How you deal with forgiving tells about your hear‭t and relationship with God. Let’s go a little further into our text. 

23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
I liken this to an expense account of sorts. This servant likely had some buying/spending power. Obviously he misappropriated funds in this story and now the accounts were being reconciled.

24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
Ten thousand talents was about 15 times an average person’s salary and would have taken 150,000 years to repay. The verse said the servant, wife, children and all that he had needed to be sold and payment made. That was no where NEAR enough to start the repayment process.

26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

27 Then the lord (or the king) of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

A couple of things here:

The servant could have NEVER repaid the king. Mercifully, the king heard the servants cry, he loosed (we just talked about that loosed on earth/loosed in heaven) and told him he was free. The King took the loss and kept the servant. No talking about it, bringing it back up, side eyes in the kingdom, he loosed or completely forgave him.

Just like us, it would take 150,000 lifetimes to repay God for all the debt I ran up in sin! Every thought, word, action, act of disobedience, sins of omission, commission—in my B.C. (before Christ) and A.C. (after Christ) life—there is NO way I could repay—never! So just like that king, our King took the loss…our sins, and bore them on the cross, so we could be free and have eternal life. That thought alone is enough to give God praise for and something we should keep in mind when dealing with others.

28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

Notice, this servant did not run into the friend, this guy goes to LOOK for his friend. On top of that he got physical by laying hands on– getting him by the throat AND demanded his money. The friend begged for mercy (just like the servant begged the king) and unlike the king, servant threw the fellow servant in JAIL!!

Let’s be clear, 100 pence was about 4 months salary, so this was no small amount of money, and he felt wronged. Let’s stop there. Feeling angry, hurt, betrayed, disappointed or let down is NOT WRONG. Apparently God gave us these emotions for various reasons—it’s how we react or control them that God is concerned with, as we strive to be more like Him AND be a witness to others. Offenses will come AND with various emotions with the offenses which aren’t always the most stable or reliable. So in these times, do we go with how we feel–we go with what the Word of God says. Ephesians 4:26 says to be angry and not sin…don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. In other words, we should not HOLD on to the offense for a long period of time because that’s how MANY things come out of our heart/mouths and actions or inaction that are NOT of God.

We won’t go to the the person
We will talk about them.
We will run away.
We won’t speak.
We will ignore.
We will murmur against the person.
We will tell others over and over how wronged we were.
We will sit down on God.
We will shut God out of speaking to us through prayer (which should be a two way conversation), the taught or preached word (I hope SHE heard that, or a exree-LOUD amen) and your Bible reading, Sometimes God has to “get you by the lapels” to let you know He’s talking to you! (God had been talking to me about a jive date I was about to go on—it took me TWO days to catch on), or allow a trial or series of situations that you finally have to come to Him and ask why. Lack of forgiveness hardens our heart to the point where we can’t hear God clearly. Sure, He may be blessing and keeping you—that’s His mercy and grace. While that mercy endures forever—it may not be extended to you forever—especially if we’ve been ignoring His voice.

Next, and obviously servant forgot he just was loosed from a HUGE debt. Do we forget what Christ did for us? And how He keeps doing it over and over? Even when we offend? Is our compassion limited, biased, divided? How many people have we her captive in our hearts, stopped speaking to, avoided, cursed in our minds because they trespassed us, when WE SIN! I didn’t say PRACTICE sinning, and maybe you didn’t did not against them, but we do sin. Yes, you do!
I John 1:8 says, “if we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
We may not be PRACTICING sin, but many of the things we mediate on, say (even if it’s an oops, it was still wrong), do, or even NOT do (I’m not apologizing, I’m not going to help her (when God told you to), I’m not going to tell the clerk he gave me an extra $10 change..that was a blessing—NO that was a TEST!) Sin. Respect of persons anyone? My brother brought up how pop singers of certain ethinicies are “sent to heaven” (that’s a different teaching)  on Facebook by “Christians” while other ethnicities are not talked about at all. That’s wrong. We can go round and round, but the deal is we can accumulate a massive debt of sin while we are here by not forgiving the people who wronged us. It’s not easy and our old nature won’t want to, but we HAVE to. If we love people like Jesus wants us to, we have to forgive.

31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.

The servant was a poor witness of the mercy extended to him. How many Christians behave this way in front of families, friends and strangers while professions Christ?

32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

Isn’t it amazing that we are great defense lawyers for ourselves and great prosecutors for others?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

So this servants lack of judgment, mercy, compassion and forgiveness got him a one-way ticket to life in torment until all was paid up. 150,000 years worth.

Which of the servant’s attitudes do we most have? Forgiven and forgotten? Is that situation worth going to be delivered to the tormentors? Is that church member (and that may just be who they are—a church member is SEPARATE from a Holy spirit-filled Body of Christ member) neutralizing your relationship with Christ and taking you off your assignment. Do you NOT recall YOU are the CALLED according to HIS purpose? If you slack on your post in The Body of Christ, you can negatively impact the rest of The Body. Or those watching you. Moreover, if we stay stuck in that place of unforgiving, verse 35 says:

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”
People who have not forgiven are typically partial, bitter, wrathful, resentful, quarrelsome, (even in their minds) speak evil and have malice (see Ephesians 4:31). How does God allow any one practicing those characteristics to enter into the kingdom of Heaven? Do we consider eternity enough? Do we realize that we live this life to live again? Forever? Is what happens, albeit not nice, in this life worth torment, regret, and sorrow forever?

What if God was this unmerciful to us? Delivered us to the tormentor (enemy) for the 150,000 lifetimes worth? Yes He understands, but He doesn’t excuse. The Word is clear. When we don’t forgive, we are being disobedient and that’s a sin. Practicing sinners do not  make it into the Kingdom of Heaven. No situation is worth that.

So BCU family, with God’s help, let us ask the Lord to search our hearts to remove any traces or residue of unforgiveness toward anyone. Ask Him to check our motives or non-motives. Are we operating in our gifts and talents? Are we witnessing? How is our relationship/prayer life? How quick are we to rail on someone and forgive someone else. How many times do we say, “well you know I did not mean it”, or “I’m human” as a defense to offending, but we hold others captive because they “know better” or they should.

I pray this word blessed you and more that, brings you to a place in putting the Word in action–I know it did for ME! Whew!!! God bless you for tuning in, telling a friend, sharing commenting and subscribing–we at BlenCouragesU.com really appreciate you! Until the next time we’re together, #StayOnTheWall!

 

Love,

 

Blen

 

#SpeechTherapy | Forgiveness | Offenses | Part 2

As usual, you can enjoy the audio podcast (by clicking on the icon below) read the transcript notes or both! Either way, be encouraged by the Word of God and share this with a friend! God bless you!

In preparing to talk about forgiveness, last time, we took a closer look at the first part of Matthew 18:1-14, and gleaned a few points:

1) In order to the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven, we need to be converted as children.
—they are not puffed up or prideful
—they need to be served/taken care of
—they take you at your word
—they have amazing faith

2) Offenses (snares, traps, trap-sticks, stumbling blocks, temptations, entrapper, enticers, obstacles) WILL COME! Was anyone tested on that? Oooh-ooh WHEE. I KNOW I was! Had to deal with the ungrateful one, the rude one, the one not listening, technology acting up, a two-hour traffic jam, phone calls about things that should have been taken care of, people not on post…these things sound mundane, but these attacks came one after the other, were long (some of them) unexpected and intense. I was asking for grace and repenting—but once you know the Word and what to look out for, you really become more alert and able to fight in the Spirit in prayer and not in the flesh with unkind words, attitudes or gestures. God allows them to teach is to stay in the Spirit and not react in the flesh, the enemy brings them to get you out of Spirit and KEEP you in the flesh.

3)Jesus promises to deal with the offenders—it’s better that a millstone is hung around the neck and they cast into the sea. While we may be clapping for the impending punishment for the offenders, let’s keep two things in mind:

–Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbles: lest the Lord see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him (Proverbs 24:16).

–Let’s check ourselves to make sure we are not practicing offenders mentioned in Matthew 18. The onus is on US. Not THEM.

It’s one thing to mess up occasionally, but choosing to lie on someone, being the marital issue, to have a bad attitude because “you don’t care today”, intentionally, maliciously, willfully, spitefully doing, saying or acting or retaliating, in ways that offend someone (whether or not they “deserve it”) is just wrong. What is giving the guy that cut you off a dirty look going to do? How does that help anything? Will it have a lasting impression on him? Will he remember the look? Did it teach him a lesson? He’s in front of you.

We can’t practice maliciousness, wrath, hatred and such and expect to make it into the kingdom of God, even if you were offended badly. Jesus has that covered coming up in Matthew 18 starting at verse 15.

 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

HOW many disagreements would be squashed if we just went to Lilly May and talked about it, rather than go all-around her? Do we GO TO the person and handle these matters quietly and one-on-one? Or is a snide post or rant on social media the way we do it? Or maybe we go to the one or two more first instead of going to the person? The story gets back to the person and it’s all blown up AND others are upset with them. Discord. Flesh. Offensive. Not God’s way. We simply go to the person, politely state our case, listen to their case, we talk it over and we end peacefully.  If the one-to-one approach doesn’t pan out, Jesus outlines the next step.

Verse 16:  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

If the trespassing party is not cooperative, we are not to stomp away. Rather WE go the extra mile and gather honest, non-biased, trustworthy folks that can accurately account the dispute details/conversion, rather than instigate or spread your business around. Pray about and choose your witnesses carefully. Finally if that approach stalls, Jesus says:

Verse 17:  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
This is the very last resort—do not get the church officials involved until after you have done steps 1 and 2. Ideally, the alleged trespasser will finally be ready to settle the matter properly, so he’s not classified as a heathen or publican (tax collector). In those days (and some of say it now), publicans ILLEGALLY taxed you on whatever they wanted, ON DEMAND. Obviously they lived well (off ill-gotten money), but were very despised. In fact,  Luke 19 tells the story of Zacchaeus who was CHIEF, among the publicans (19:2). After meeting Jesus, Zacchaeus repented and said he would give half his goods to the poor and would restore overtaxation four fold. Talk about offenses and forgiveness…Let’s see what else Jesus said regarding the church proceeding. Yes, the next few verses of Matthew 18 are all about that.

Matthew 18:18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
 Matthew 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 18:20  For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

In doing some study, verse 18 the term “binding and loosing” was common Jewish phrasing meaning “to declare something forbidden (bind) or declare it allowed (loosed)” In this case it referred to the discipline of the offender or how the situation would be handled. That ties into verse 19, because Christ in heaven officially makes valid what is done in His name and in accordance to His Word on earth. Decisions are binding in both places and the Word is loosed on earth for His purpose. Finally in verse 20, the context with touching and agreeing is for the purpose of two people coming together to settle differences and naturally Jesus is there in the midst.

Now many of us have heard these verses and used them (myself included), for praying binding and loosing “bad” things and loosing “good” things, praying about something with someone (touching and agreeing), or for poorly attended services (where two or three are gathered). As students of the Bible who seek to rightly divide the Word with the help of the Lord, we’ve been using those Scriptures out of context. Think about it–isn’t Jesus in the midst when we are alone? Does not He abide down on the inside of us, if we are Holy Ghost filled according to Acts 2:38? Why would that verse be about church attendance when He was just talking about how to handle a dispute? Jesus just doesn’t switch tracks like that, BCU family! Now that we know better, we will do better, with the help of the Lord. Amen? Amen!

Well BCU family, that’s our podcast for today–I trust the Word was enlightening and stirs up a change in your heart and spirit. Lord will, we’ll wrap up this series next time we’re together.  Thank you for tuning in, commenting, subscribing and telling a friend! Until we’re together again, God bless, keep and make His face to shine upon you and…#StayOnTheWall!

 

Love,

 

BCU